PHILLIES PHODDER-OPENING DAY

The Pope was wrong if he declared there is no Hell. I was in Hell yesterday, watching Gabe Kapler blow the Phillies' Opening Day. Here are my thoughts...

- You never get a second chance to make a great first impression. After Kapler's insane moves to blow the opener, my impressions are: he thinks he is the smartest guy in the room, God's gift to baseball, an annoying know-it-all who still thinks he is right, even afterwards when he looks like a dumb ass. He smacks of Chip Kelly, and we saw what happened to Chip.

- Simply put, Kapler over-managed the game to death. All he had to do was let the game play out, not get involved and try to impress with your big-league decisions. Embarrassing.

- Why pull Aaron Nola if he was "dominating?" It all comes down to analytics. The geeky general manager Klentak will stand up for Kapler because a) he hired Kapler and Klentak's neck is in the noose if Kapler turns out to be a clueless, inexperienced idiot, and b) Klentak believes in analytics too.

- If Pat Neshek really did have "a lat problem" before the game, isn't that even more reason to keep Nola in the game? He only threw 68 pitches into the 6th inning, while tossing a shut-out and not giving the braves even a sniff of hope. Again, it's all analytics, as Kapler reasoned that Hoby stinkin' Milner had a better chance to get out Freddie Freeman ( lefty on lefty) then his ace.

- Why use Ramos- a loser ( what do the Phillies see in him?) in the 8th? What the hell is wrong with Adam Morgan all of a sudden? I don't trust Hector Neris ever since he gave up three consecutive home runs to the Dodgers in Los Angeles last April.

- Kapler is quickly going form "different", "unique" and "quirky" to "annoying" and "grating". He is asking fans to qualify as a left-handed batting practice pitcher. Now he is filling out line-up cards a week in advance. What if a guy has four hits the night before?

- The problem with this analytics crap is it's paint-by-the-numbers managing. You don't use common sense or have to think or actually use baseball experience. When Kapler uses terms like "exit velocity" when describing Milners' effectiveness, he sounds like a Klentak clone.

- Two more annoying Kapler moves- he removes Hoskins for defensive purposes in the 8th inning. Atlanta ties the game and Hoskins would have been needed to hit in the 10th inning, if the bullpen doesn't blow it. Plus, Scott Kingery not only doesn't start, after a red-hot spring and after signing a big contract extension, but he doesn't play, period. Kapler doesn't even use Kingery as a pinch-hitter in the 9th inning.

- The Phillies are the youngest team in the majors, Will they quit on Kapler if he continues with his dumb=ass moves? I did like the fact the team took more walks, which set up their big four-run inning. The past championship teams in 1980 and 2008 also walked a lot.

- Herrera doesn't play yesterday, other than a defensive appearance lat ein the game. Again, analytics. Herrera can be a lazy malcontent, but he is a solid player who has to be pissed he didn't start on Opening Day.

- The new Braves stadium may be a beautiful place, but it remains annoying on TV. The right-field seats look like boxes. Another skin-crawling  item was the stupid Atlanta Tomahawk chop and chant, which was silent early in the game, but became evident later when Kapler's brutal, disgraceful moves started to snowball.

- What made it worse was Kapler's lame explanations after the game. He still didn't believe he made the wrong moves and indicated he would do it all again. I would have more respect for him if he was a stand-up guy, admitted that his moves were bad but he will learn form the game, and came clean.

-Too bad Larry Andersen wasn't doing the game. He's not doing road games this season. Too bad the game wasn't in Philly. The fans would've had a field day booing Kapler.  Ricky Bottalico and Ben Davis were good in the post game show. One could expect Ricky Bo to be brutally honest and funny. But Davis? He was refreshingly blunt and critical. Keep it up, Ben.

- Hoskins started out with a pair of doubles. Franco showed unexpected patience by drawing two walks.

- Is he me or did the team seem unprepared? Fundamentals were lacking  in Clearwater and are evident now. Cesar Hernandez did not slide on a steal attempt early in the game. Of course, losing brings the errors- both physical and mental- to the forefront.

Only one game my ass. Hopefully the team comes back tonight and tomorrow, winning the series against  a very beatable Braves squad.  Opening Day is special. As Davis said, this possibly could be the worst loss of the entire year. Hopefully it is and all good follows. I'm not giving up the faith in the team, but my faith in Kapler is shaky today.

- Pete Mackanin, where are you?  Maybe Howard Eskin was right. Does Kapler come off as a slick con man who tries to cover his incompetence with charm? As Terrell Owens once said,  If it smells like a rat, by golly it must be a rat!