MY LIFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-51

Teddy had family but they didn't bother with him. A brother lived in New Jersey and another brother in the coal mine region of Pennsylvania. Teddy couldn't recall what towns they lived in. He had tried to visit the Coal Miner once but when he showed up at the front door he was told the brother "wasn't home" and " not to come back again."

"I bet he thought I wanted money from him," Teddy said in a low voice. "I don't want anything from him."

He claimed to have another long  lost brother  somewhere in Texas who supposedly did contact Ted. He thought the last letter ( several years ago) came from Kileen, Texas but wasn't sure. After Teddy broke his hip and ended up in the Manor he lost touch with this sibling. No mail was ever forwarded to him from his old address.

Teddy asked me to help. I tried finding the brother over the new and mysterious thing called the Internet. I wrote to the police department in Kileen, Texas, explaining the situation. They checked old army records, social security numbers and the local phone book, all to no avail.

Was Ted confused on the location? He was pretty sharp in certain areas but foggy when it came to dates and times. He had little conception of time, keeping in mind where he grew up and where he was living now.

With or without family, Teddy was a happy guy. He made friends easily with his sense of humor and infectious smile. He claimed to have "trained" many of the aides working in the nursing home. He had his routine, how to wash him, how to dress him, and other care needs. Because he was now exclusively in a wheelchair and still suffered  from violent tremors , he  could do very little for himself. 

He was able to hold his harmonica, use a remote control for his television  and slowly push his chair, all important in his life, but could  not feed himself. When he tried to hold a fork , spoon or cup he would make himself so nervous food or drink was spilled on the floor or on himself, to his anger and embarrassment. That's where I came in.

Ted  never complained. He loved watching the Phillies and Eagles on his little TV, staying up late to watch the West Coast games or listen to them on his transistor radio. A white  Phillies pennant and a red Phillies cap hung on his bulletin board on the side wall, along with countless photos he collected over the years, mostly Polaroid snapshots of former nurses and aides who took care of him at one time.

A large cardboard picture of Jesus adorned the wall as well, and at times iIwould glide by his room and see him sitting quietly during commercials for his soap operas, eyes closed tightly, praying aloud, asking God to please help him walk again someday.

A local junior high teacher dressed as Santa Claus each holiday season. He would visit all the residents, passing out cookies, fruit  and candy canes while taking photos with the residents for a keepsake. Teddy had at least five years' worth of Santas on his bulletin board.

He always  played bingo at the nursing home , excited to win prizes like a banana. On an unlucky morning he could be heard mumbling to himself on the way back to his room, "I'll win next week." 

He never used Bingo chips and when he did win he let everyone know, hollering at the top of his lungs "Bingo right here!" to the disgust  of nearby residents.

"Oh my, " Liz would growl. "Teddy, why do you have to yell so loud every single time?"

That was his signature call of victory, his catchphrase, even in the community. "Bingo right here!" meant that everyone in the hall knew Teddy had Bingo.

Teddy was a bit of a flirt too, but never inappropriate. Sometimes good-hearted aides would bring him in candy and cookies, and pretty soon his room looked like a grocery store. The Dietitian noticed he was getting a bit of a belly, and would half- seriously chastise him for eating too much junk, but what else did the guy have in his life? It got so that he was giving away chocolate chip cookies in return  to anyone who asked.

One night a nurse, on her night off, took Teddy back to the Bingo  hall he used to attend every week. That pleased him to no end, seeing old friends again, the center of attention."'They all thought I was dead,' he laughed."I'm not dead. "I'm here!"

He won $60 that night and insisted the nurse take half. 

He loved playing the lottery, always buying exactly one ticket each week. He played the same numbers every week. "They gotta come up sooner or later," he surmised. 'And it only takes one ticket to win."

Winning the lottery was part of his plan to move to Florida, hire a private duty nurse to take care of him, and sit out in the sun all day, working on his tan ( which he often did in the patio in the summer, much to the nurses' dismay). Hitting the lottery would just speed up the process someday. He was still determined to see Florida , lottery or not.

Teddy was the "Welcome Wagon" of the facility. Learning there was a new admission in the building he would show up outside their room, Playing them a welcome tune on the harmonica was always on the agenda. The harmonica was his great love. Christmas carols ( not always in season) and Gospel hymns were his specialties. Sitting in his room, or out in the hall, he would play his harmonica for hours.

He saw many roommates come and go over the years. He would spend thirteen years at the Manor. That's a lot of roommates. He got along with most,  ringing his call bell for those who couldn't or  in an emergency. As he said "Taking them under my wing."

 He sometimes annoyed roommates went he cranked up the volume on his TV ( he was heard of hearing but refused hearing aides, claiming it was "all in our imagination") or wouldn't stop playing his harmonica in bed at 2:00 a. m. But never any reason to transfer rooms.

I grew close to Teddy by feeding him  lunch for years. Sometimes it would be breakfast too, if I was there early enough and the staff needed help. He was easy. The same menu every day: fried chicken and chocolate ice cream. If chicken wasn't available ( sometimes he would wheel himself downstairs to the kitchen  to raise hell) then it would be macaroni and cheese or a simple baloney sandwich ( hold the mustard).

We talked during lunch and in-between bites. He would tell me about his past, his dreams of going to Florida someday, of hitting the lottery, of the Phillies, or how he won the night before at Bingo. The conversations varied and didn't really matter. He was happy to have someone- anyone- to talk to, especially someone willing to listen.

I could identify with Teddy. We were far apart in age yet had similarities. We both loved Baseball. We both had bad breaks in life. My parents could've easily did what his folks did- send the problem away. I was lucky to have such loving parents. And   he knew about being "different' and prejudice. He wanted nothing more than to be like everyone else. Hollering "Bingo" for the entire building to hear was a simple joy I could relate to.

 So, we were friends as well as Social Worker/resident.

If it wasn't for guys like Teddy I would never be a Social Worker.