The Phillies are back to being the old Phillies again, losing their first two games in Miami this weekend. The Marlins have now beaten the Phils 5 games in a row. They threaten to sweep the series again this afternoon. If Philadelphia does not win the NL East by a slight margin it will be because they could not beat the last place Fish.
Miami plays small ball and encourages it's young hitters to hit line drives and hit the ball where it is pitched. Forget nonsense like "exit velocity" and "launch angle.'No wonder the team strikes out a ton. They try for home runs and if they don't hit homers they don't win.
Scott Kingery stays hot but the rest of the line-up is still scuffling. They beat the awful Mets 4 games in a row but they looks like a fluke, as Miami is kicking Philly's ass.
This time it was the bullpen that imploded, as starter Zach Eflin left in the 7th inning with a 6-3 lead. Adam Morgan and Juan Nicosio were just plain bad as Miami scored 8 straight runs to win, 9-6.
With the loss, the Phillies, who had climbed back to 4 1/2 games behind division-leading Atlanta, fell back top 6 1/2 games. Unless the Phils significantly rally, they may have to focus on a wild card spot in the second half of the season.
Center fielder Roman Quinn is playing now but has been disappointing at the plate. Don't blame Kingery if he makes mistakes in center- he should be at his natural position of second base. GM Matt Klentek needs to trade Cesar Hernandez, who is a nice player but will never be an All-Star.
Klentek needs to reinforce the squad with another outfield, a starter and better relievers. After paying so much for free agents during the off-season the front office needs to make the right moves before the July 31st trade deadline to support a second half surge.
Manager Gabe Kapler's job should still be in jeopardy if the Phillies fail to make the playoffs. He won't be replaced during the season but will be replaced during the off-season if the team doesn't respond soon.
After the finale in Miami today, a big three game showdown in Atlanta awaits with the Braves. Three more next weekend with New York will close out the first part of the 2019 campaign.
Sunday, June 30, 2019
Friday, June 28, 2019
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
I was at the thrilling Phillies victory over the hated Mets Thursday afternoon at an almost full citizens Bank Park. The home team came from behind with a walk-off win ( for the second night in a row, after not having a walk-off win all season), 6-3 over New York.
It was a beautiful day for a ballgame and over 39,000 fans packed the stadium on a hot, breezy afternoon. There was a sprinkling of Met fans in the crowd, but not as many as in previous years. The Mets are having a down year, especially now, getting swept by their rival Phillies. In the past, chants of annoying Met fans "Let's Go Mets!" would pour salt in the wounds of Phils' fans, as the new Yorkers attempted to take over CBP.
Not this year.
Aaron Nola pitched great for the second consecutive game, tossing seven shut-out innings and giving up only one hit, that to Mets' pitcher Zach Wheeler. Nola has cut down on his walks, striking out 10 for the second game in a row. He looks like the Nola of old, and loves to pitch in the heat and humidity of summer, like back in his home of Louisiana.
After Hector Neris blew the 1-0 save in the ninth, ( he was pitching his third consecutive outing), the hot Maikel Franco tied the game in the bottom of the ninth with a clutch two-run homer to center field.
Jean Segura blasted a three-run shot to win it for the Phils, giving them a four-game winning streak. Credit Cesar Hernandez, Sean Rodriguez and Scott Kingery for getting on base in the dramatic bottom of the ninth to set up the win.
Bryce Harper crushed a titanic home run in the sixth, a shot to left-center field which bounced onto a crowded Ashburn Alley. It was Harper's 14th homer of the season.
I predicted the Phillies would sweep the awful Mets then pay back the Marlins in Miami this weekend, returning the sweep. That would give Philly a seven-game winning streak after losing seven straight. They travel next to Atlanta for more revenge before ending the first half of the year in New York,
Right now the re surging Phils are 4 1/2 games out of first place in NL East behind the braves. While the Phils are in Miami the braves take on those same mets in New York over the weekend. Time to make up even more ground before the big series in Atlanta.
Sure the Mets are awful but the real reason why the Phillies are playing better is the line-up. Since Manager Gabe Kapler finally put Scott Kingery in the lead-off spot the team has taken off. Other than the hot Kingery banging out hits and using his speed at the top of the line-up, this batting order allows guys to ease back into familiar and comfortable positions. Segura moves back to second, Harper to third and Franco to eighth, for instance.
Since reserve Brad Miller got his own lucky Bamboo plant, and a bigger one for the clubhouse, the team hasn't lost. Is it superstition or luck or just coincidence? Whatever, the Phillies store will be selling Bamboo plants soon for $35 a pop.
Bamboo is become a legend as long as the Phillies keep winning.
It was a beautiful day for a ballgame and over 39,000 fans packed the stadium on a hot, breezy afternoon. There was a sprinkling of Met fans in the crowd, but not as many as in previous years. The Mets are having a down year, especially now, getting swept by their rival Phillies. In the past, chants of annoying Met fans "Let's Go Mets!" would pour salt in the wounds of Phils' fans, as the new Yorkers attempted to take over CBP.
Not this year.
Aaron Nola pitched great for the second consecutive game, tossing seven shut-out innings and giving up only one hit, that to Mets' pitcher Zach Wheeler. Nola has cut down on his walks, striking out 10 for the second game in a row. He looks like the Nola of old, and loves to pitch in the heat and humidity of summer, like back in his home of Louisiana.
After Hector Neris blew the 1-0 save in the ninth, ( he was pitching his third consecutive outing), the hot Maikel Franco tied the game in the bottom of the ninth with a clutch two-run homer to center field.
Jean Segura blasted a three-run shot to win it for the Phils, giving them a four-game winning streak. Credit Cesar Hernandez, Sean Rodriguez and Scott Kingery for getting on base in the dramatic bottom of the ninth to set up the win.
Bryce Harper crushed a titanic home run in the sixth, a shot to left-center field which bounced onto a crowded Ashburn Alley. It was Harper's 14th homer of the season.
I predicted the Phillies would sweep the awful Mets then pay back the Marlins in Miami this weekend, returning the sweep. That would give Philly a seven-game winning streak after losing seven straight. They travel next to Atlanta for more revenge before ending the first half of the year in New York,
Right now the re surging Phils are 4 1/2 games out of first place in NL East behind the braves. While the Phils are in Miami the braves take on those same mets in New York over the weekend. Time to make up even more ground before the big series in Atlanta.
Sure the Mets are awful but the real reason why the Phillies are playing better is the line-up. Since Manager Gabe Kapler finally put Scott Kingery in the lead-off spot the team has taken off. Other than the hot Kingery banging out hits and using his speed at the top of the line-up, this batting order allows guys to ease back into familiar and comfortable positions. Segura moves back to second, Harper to third and Franco to eighth, for instance.
Since reserve Brad Miller got his own lucky Bamboo plant, and a bigger one for the clubhouse, the team hasn't lost. Is it superstition or luck or just coincidence? Whatever, the Phillies store will be selling Bamboo plants soon for $35 a pop.
Bamboo is become a legend as long as the Phillies keep winning.
Thursday, June 27, 2019
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
The Phillies won their third game in a row last night and can sweep the hated Mets this afternoon. Aaron Nola pitches against Zach Wheeler at 1:05.
Another comeback win by the Phils. Down 4-0 and looking lifeless again Mets' lefty Vargas ( who struck out 10 Phillies in 6 innings), Mets' embattled manager mickey Calloway took Vargas out of the game with only 72 pitches thrown in the 7th inning. The Phillies feasted on the bad New York bullpen and won their first walk-off victory of the season in the 10th inning.
Give Gabe Kapler credit. He pinch-ran Roman Quinn for Rhys Hoskins in the 10th, with Quinn on second base. The Mets' center fielder, Lagaras, played in a bit because of Quinn's speed, and when Jay Bruce hit a bullet over his head Largaras was a step away from catching the ball. Instead, it was a Bruce double and a win for Philadlephia.
The Phillies' fortunes have changed since Kapler revised his line-up/ Kingery, despite striking out four times last night, is solid in the lead-off spot. Kinhery gets walks and has blazing speed. Jean Segura is ideal in the No. 2 spot, especially with his bat control. Harper is third and Hoskins is fourth. Realmuto, Bruce, Hernandez and Franco round out the bottom of the order.
I still don't trust the bullpen although it looks like Hector Neris, who has converted 16 of 17 saves, may be the Phillies' lone All-Star this summer. Rhys Hoskins deserves to make the team, but the first base position is crowded in the National League. Kingery deserves to make it too but he was hurt for a month and doesn't play a regular position.
I'll be at the game this afternoon at Citizens Bank Park. Those stupid fans from New York have nothing to crow about this year since New York is currently 11 games out of first place. No longer do you hear the "Let's Go Mets" chants in the stands.
Since 2015 the Mets have dominated the Phils It's nice to know the Phillies have a chance to sweep the New Yorkers today, kicking them while they are down.
It couldn't happen to a better team.
Another comeback win by the Phils. Down 4-0 and looking lifeless again Mets' lefty Vargas ( who struck out 10 Phillies in 6 innings), Mets' embattled manager mickey Calloway took Vargas out of the game with only 72 pitches thrown in the 7th inning. The Phillies feasted on the bad New York bullpen and won their first walk-off victory of the season in the 10th inning.
Give Gabe Kapler credit. He pinch-ran Roman Quinn for Rhys Hoskins in the 10th, with Quinn on second base. The Mets' center fielder, Lagaras, played in a bit because of Quinn's speed, and when Jay Bruce hit a bullet over his head Largaras was a step away from catching the ball. Instead, it was a Bruce double and a win for Philadlephia.
The Phillies' fortunes have changed since Kapler revised his line-up/ Kingery, despite striking out four times last night, is solid in the lead-off spot. Kinhery gets walks and has blazing speed. Jean Segura is ideal in the No. 2 spot, especially with his bat control. Harper is third and Hoskins is fourth. Realmuto, Bruce, Hernandez and Franco round out the bottom of the order.
I still don't trust the bullpen although it looks like Hector Neris, who has converted 16 of 17 saves, may be the Phillies' lone All-Star this summer. Rhys Hoskins deserves to make the team, but the first base position is crowded in the National League. Kingery deserves to make it too but he was hurt for a month and doesn't play a regular position.
I'll be at the game this afternoon at Citizens Bank Park. Those stupid fans from New York have nothing to crow about this year since New York is currently 11 games out of first place. No longer do you hear the "Let's Go Mets" chants in the stands.
Since 2015 the Mets have dominated the Phils It's nice to know the Phillies have a chance to sweep the New Yorkers today, kicking them while they are down.
It couldn't happen to a better team.
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER-PHILLIES
-The Phillies won two in a row over the hapless Mets, coming back from a late 5-2 deficit to beat New York 7-5 . They remain 5 1/2 .games behind the winning Braves in NL East.
I can easily see the Phillies going from a 7-game losing streak to a 7-game winning streak. They need to sweep New York by winning tonight and Thursday afternoon, then seek revenge and sweep the Marlins in Miami this weekend. They go back to Atlanta next week, and if they go in with a 7-game winning streak it will give the Phils momentum.
Maikel Franco continues to surge, hitting another center field home run last night. Scott Kingery led off again and smashed an opposite field homer to cut the Mets' lead to 2-1. The new and improved line-up seems to have done more to rejuvinate the club than Brad Miller's bamboo plant in the clubhouse.
Another reason for the turnaround is New York. They stink. I'm glad they are floundering. I'll be attending the afternoon game on Thursday, the last home game before the All-Star game. I'm sure the stands will be crawling with Met fans. They can't chirp this series, especially if the Phillies sweep them.
Jake Arrieta was bad again last night. Even more reason for GM Matt Klentek to find pitching help before the July 31st trade deadline. You can't count on Arrieta. He is obviously not the same pitcher he was. Aaron Nola is looking better. The trio of Valasquez, Eflin and Pivetta are hot and cold. So pitching will be a priority to help the Phils down the stretch.
I can easily see the Phillies going from a 7-game losing streak to a 7-game winning streak. They need to sweep New York by winning tonight and Thursday afternoon, then seek revenge and sweep the Marlins in Miami this weekend. They go back to Atlanta next week, and if they go in with a 7-game winning streak it will give the Phils momentum.
Maikel Franco continues to surge, hitting another center field home run last night. Scott Kingery led off again and smashed an opposite field homer to cut the Mets' lead to 2-1. The new and improved line-up seems to have done more to rejuvinate the club than Brad Miller's bamboo plant in the clubhouse.
Another reason for the turnaround is New York. They stink. I'm glad they are floundering. I'll be attending the afternoon game on Thursday, the last home game before the All-Star game. I'm sure the stands will be crawling with Met fans. They can't chirp this series, especially if the Phillies sweep them.
Jake Arrieta was bad again last night. Even more reason for GM Matt Klentek to find pitching help before the July 31st trade deadline. You can't count on Arrieta. He is obviously not the same pitcher he was. Aaron Nola is looking better. The trio of Valasquez, Eflin and Pivetta are hot and cold. So pitching will be a priority to help the Phils down the stretch.
Tuesday, June 25, 2019
BASEBALL TRIVIA
- Name the last Mets' hitter to lead the league in home runs.
A. Darryl Strawberry
B. Howard Johnson
C. Dave Kingman
D. Mike Piazza
Answer: B.
In their 57-year history, the Mets have had only three players lead the league in home runs. Kingman was the first in 1982 with 37, and Strawberry was second in 1988 with 39. Johnson hit 38 in 1991, making him the most recent to wear the homer crown.
Name the first player to collect 5oo home runs and 3,000 hits.
A. Ted Williams
B. Stan Musial
C. Willie Mays
D. Hank Aaron
Answer: D.
Aaron got his 3,000th hit on May 17, 1970, less than two years after getting his 500th homer on July 14, 1968. Mays got his 3,000th on July 18, 1970, less than five years after collecting his 500th homer on September 13, 1965.
Name the first player to reach 500 home runs without hitting 40 in a season.
A. Mel Ott
B. Eddie Murray
C. Willie McCovey
D. Eddie Mathews
Answer: B.
The Orioles' first baseman, "Steady Eddie" peaked with 33 home runs in 1983, as the Orioles won their third World Series. In 10 or more seasons, he drove in 95 or more run. He finished with 504 homers and was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2003.
Match the following A's with their retired uniform numbers:
!. Reggie Jackson A. 34
2. Rollie Finers B. 9
3. Rickey Henderson C. 24
4. Dennis Eckersley D/. 43
5. Catfish Hunter E. 27
Answer:
1-B, 2-A, 3-C, 4-D, 5-E
Name the only hitter who didn't win seven or more batting titles.
A. Stan Musial
B. Honus Wagner
C. Wade Boggs
D. Rogers Hornsby
E. Tony Gwynn
Answer:
C.
Boggs won five batting titles in six years, peaking with a .368 mark in 1985. Wagner and Gwynn won eight titles each. Hornsby and Musial won seven each.
A. Darryl Strawberry
B. Howard Johnson
C. Dave Kingman
D. Mike Piazza
Answer: B.
In their 57-year history, the Mets have had only three players lead the league in home runs. Kingman was the first in 1982 with 37, and Strawberry was second in 1988 with 39. Johnson hit 38 in 1991, making him the most recent to wear the homer crown.
Name the first player to collect 5oo home runs and 3,000 hits.
A. Ted Williams
B. Stan Musial
C. Willie Mays
D. Hank Aaron
Answer: D.
Aaron got his 3,000th hit on May 17, 1970, less than two years after getting his 500th homer on July 14, 1968. Mays got his 3,000th on July 18, 1970, less than five years after collecting his 500th homer on September 13, 1965.
Name the first player to reach 500 home runs without hitting 40 in a season.
A. Mel Ott
B. Eddie Murray
C. Willie McCovey
D. Eddie Mathews
Answer: B.
The Orioles' first baseman, "Steady Eddie" peaked with 33 home runs in 1983, as the Orioles won their third World Series. In 10 or more seasons, he drove in 95 or more run. He finished with 504 homers and was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2003.
Match the following A's with their retired uniform numbers:
!. Reggie Jackson A. 34
2. Rollie Finers B. 9
3. Rickey Henderson C. 24
4. Dennis Eckersley D/. 43
5. Catfish Hunter E. 27
Answer:
1-B, 2-A, 3-C, 4-D, 5-E
Name the only hitter who didn't win seven or more batting titles.
A. Stan Musial
B. Honus Wagner
C. Wade Boggs
D. Rogers Hornsby
E. Tony Gwynn
Answer:
C.
Boggs won five batting titles in six years, peaking with a .368 mark in 1985. Wagner and Gwynn won eight titles each. Hornsby and Musial won seven each.
THIS DAY IN SPORTS HISTORY- JUNE 25
Tuesday Trivia
What Major Leaguer stole home the most times in his career?
Answer: Ty Cobb. He stole home 50 times.
What Major Leaguer stole home the most times in his career?
Answer: Ty Cobb. He stole home 50 times.
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
It's nice the Phillies snapped their seven-game losing streak last night, beating the Mets 13-7. They ran into a team in worse crisis than they are. They also hit against Steven Metz, the New York lefty who gave up 8 runs in one inning the last time he faced the Phillies.
It wasn't Manager Kapler or his joke-of-a curveball machine. It wasn't clueless GM Matt Klentek, who took a few players out to lunch ( o word on what they had to eat).
Why did Kapler praise lazy Hernandez and Segor, after they didn't hustle? What about guys who do hustle, like Harper and Kingery?
Speaking of Kingery, he finally hit lead-off and collected three hits. He used his speed and also played yet another new position- left field. Kingery is a good young player who deserves to be praised. He never complaints, always hustles and is having a break-out season, despite the Phillies jerking him around by playing him at multiple positions this summer. he needs to play his natural position at second base. Trade Hernandez and let Kingery play.
Maikel Franco returned to the line-up and hit a deep center field home run. He played great third base. He may get one last chance to keep third base as his own.
Zach Eflin struggled last night but got the win, going 7-7 this year. Eflin couldn't control his fastball last night.
Klentek spoke before the game and once again looked foolish. One statement was supporting Kapler regarding his not benching lazy players ( Segura and Hernandez). Klentek basically said that he doesn't expect players to hustle all the time and Kapler was handling the situation just right.
He really didn't answer what a bad job he has done. The bench sucks. So does the bullpen . His players don't always hustle. Kapler refuses to play small ball. If the team doesn't hit home runs they don't win. His farm system sucks.
I've said it before: Kapler should be fired but so should Klentek.
Jake Arrieta pitches tonight vs a Mets' rookie. Let's make it two in a row. The Phils are now 5 1/2 games behind Atlanta after the Braves lost to the Cubs at Wrigley last night.
It wasn't Manager Kapler or his joke-of-a curveball machine. It wasn't clueless GM Matt Klentek, who took a few players out to lunch ( o word on what they had to eat).
Why did Kapler praise lazy Hernandez and Segor, after they didn't hustle? What about guys who do hustle, like Harper and Kingery?
Speaking of Kingery, he finally hit lead-off and collected three hits. He used his speed and also played yet another new position- left field. Kingery is a good young player who deserves to be praised. He never complaints, always hustles and is having a break-out season, despite the Phillies jerking him around by playing him at multiple positions this summer. he needs to play his natural position at second base. Trade Hernandez and let Kingery play.
Maikel Franco returned to the line-up and hit a deep center field home run. He played great third base. He may get one last chance to keep third base as his own.
Zach Eflin struggled last night but got the win, going 7-7 this year. Eflin couldn't control his fastball last night.
Klentek spoke before the game and once again looked foolish. One statement was supporting Kapler regarding his not benching lazy players ( Segura and Hernandez). Klentek basically said that he doesn't expect players to hustle all the time and Kapler was handling the situation just right.
He really didn't answer what a bad job he has done. The bench sucks. So does the bullpen . His players don't always hustle. Kapler refuses to play small ball. If the team doesn't hit home runs they don't win. His farm system sucks.
I've said it before: Kapler should be fired but so should Klentek.
Jake Arrieta pitches tonight vs a Mets' rookie. Let's make it two in a row. The Phils are now 5 1/2 games behind Atlanta after the Braves lost to the Cubs at Wrigley last night.
Monday, June 24, 2019
REVIEW- APOLLO 11 DOCUMENTARY
*** 1/2 stars out of four
Apollo 11, the new documentary from CNN, is a brilliant movie. Every frame of the film is from 1969 and the telling of the first moon landing, 50 years ago this July.
The photography is amazing from that era, especially the footage form the Apollo 11 space capsule. The special is riveting and exciting. Even though I obviously know and lived through the entire event, it was still a cliff-hanger. Would Eagle land on the moon? Would Columbia make it back to Earth?
I learned more about the three astronauts- Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins, and admire them even more. Not only their bravery, being the very first human to land on a foreign body in our universe, but their intelligence too. These guys were brilliant, and so calm under intense pressure. Think of it- not only was the United States of America depending on these guys- the entire world was hanging on every word and action. Imagine all the people watching or listening!
I admire all the technicians and engineers and scientists back on Earth who made the mission happen. All the people in Mission Control in Houston who nervously stayed positive and offered support and information . They were unsung heroes too.
The music was minimal but great, filled with tension. Seeing the old hair styles, clothes, automobiles and overall 60s atmosphere was cool. So was hearing comforting voices like Walter Cronkite.
Where were you at the moment when Armstrong set foot on the moon? I was on my way to California is see my uncle in Los Angeles. We had stopped in a hotel somewhere in the Midwest when we watched the event on TV.
The only negative of the film was the very small-print on the screen during each scene. It's ridiculous. Chances are someone who is older will watch this documentary and remember the moon landing but won't be able to read the commentary because their eyesight is poor from age.
Otherwise it's a flawless piece which details one of the greatest achievements in history. Well worth watching for 1 hour and 46 minutes.
Apollo 11, the new documentary from CNN, is a brilliant movie. Every frame of the film is from 1969 and the telling of the first moon landing, 50 years ago this July.
The photography is amazing from that era, especially the footage form the Apollo 11 space capsule. The special is riveting and exciting. Even though I obviously know and lived through the entire event, it was still a cliff-hanger. Would Eagle land on the moon? Would Columbia make it back to Earth?
I learned more about the three astronauts- Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins, and admire them even more. Not only their bravery, being the very first human to land on a foreign body in our universe, but their intelligence too. These guys were brilliant, and so calm under intense pressure. Think of it- not only was the United States of America depending on these guys- the entire world was hanging on every word and action. Imagine all the people watching or listening!
I admire all the technicians and engineers and scientists back on Earth who made the mission happen. All the people in Mission Control in Houston who nervously stayed positive and offered support and information . They were unsung heroes too.
The music was minimal but great, filled with tension. Seeing the old hair styles, clothes, automobiles and overall 60s atmosphere was cool. So was hearing comforting voices like Walter Cronkite.
Where were you at the moment when Armstrong set foot on the moon? I was on my way to California is see my uncle in Los Angeles. We had stopped in a hotel somewhere in the Midwest when we watched the event on TV.
The only negative of the film was the very small-print on the screen during each scene. It's ridiculous. Chances are someone who is older will watch this documentary and remember the moon landing but won't be able to read the commentary because their eyesight is poor from age.
Otherwise it's a flawless piece which details one of the greatest achievements in history. Well worth watching for 1 hour and 46 minutes.
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
The Phillies suck. Gabe Kapler sucks. Matt Klentek sucks.
I don't really need to elaborate but I will.
The Phillies were swept by the lowly Miami Marlins for the first time in Philadelphia since 2009. It was the first time ti 50 years that the Phillies have been swept by a team as bad ( record-wise) as Miami.
The club has hit rock bottom.
The Phils lost their 7th game in a row. They start a four-game series with the Mets tonight. New York is in similar disarray. however the Phillies have always had problems with the Mets, so getting out of this long losing streak won't be easy.
The Phila will not face deGrome or Snyderrguard this series. If the club doesn't at least take 3 or 4 games they are done.
I've written here before- if Kapler is fired, GM Klentek needs to go too. He put this mess of a team together. He failed to address third base. The organization keeps jerking Scott Kingery around instead of playing him at second base where he belongs. Kapler refuses to bat Kingery first.
There continues to be a lack of hustle. The players don't respect Kapler. He is a fool if he thinks that "bringing out a curve ball machine is the answer.
Will the Phillies be sellers instead of buyers at the trade deadline? If the Phils are out of the playoffs by a significant amount of games what good will it be to obtain one or two players?
Is there a market for older players like Jake Arrieta, Cesar Hernandez or Maikel Franco?
Zach Eflin pitches tonight vs the Mets.
I don't really need to elaborate but I will.
The Phillies were swept by the lowly Miami Marlins for the first time in Philadelphia since 2009. It was the first time ti 50 years that the Phillies have been swept by a team as bad ( record-wise) as Miami.
The club has hit rock bottom.
The Phils lost their 7th game in a row. They start a four-game series with the Mets tonight. New York is in similar disarray. however the Phillies have always had problems with the Mets, so getting out of this long losing streak won't be easy.
The Phila will not face deGrome or Snyderrguard this series. If the club doesn't at least take 3 or 4 games they are done.
I've written here before- if Kapler is fired, GM Klentek needs to go too. He put this mess of a team together. He failed to address third base. The organization keeps jerking Scott Kingery around instead of playing him at second base where he belongs. Kapler refuses to bat Kingery first.
There continues to be a lack of hustle. The players don't respect Kapler. He is a fool if he thinks that "bringing out a curve ball machine is the answer.
Will the Phillies be sellers instead of buyers at the trade deadline? If the Phils are out of the playoffs by a significant amount of games what good will it be to obtain one or two players?
Is there a market for older players like Jake Arrieta, Cesar Hernandez or Maikel Franco?
Zach Eflin pitches tonight vs the Mets.
Sunday, June 23, 2019
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
The Phillies lost their sixth game in a row on Saturday. They look like losers, having the same feel as late last summer when the club had an epic collapse. They are now 5 a/2 games behind Atlanta in NL East. They are closer to fourth place than first place.
They are losing to division rivals. The bullpen again blew the game, the same bullpen once called a "strength" by Manager Gabe Kapler. Kapler got thrown out of the game, his first ejection in his Phillies career. It all seemed so contrived and did nothing to rally the struggling troops.
Who is the leader on this team? Where is GM Matt Klentek? Where is President Andy MacPhial and Owner John Middleton? We see ownership when times are good- what about now?
Vince Valasquez pitched well yesterday and probably earns another start on Thursday vs the Mets.
Cesar Hernandez, a mediocre player at best, didn't run hard out of the box in the 8th inning. He's yet another Phil who doesn't hustle. Will Kapler discipline Hernandez when he didn't discipline Jean Segura?
There is no discipline or consequences on this team. It was another sell-out yesterday and the team played lazy, stupid baseball as thanks.
If the team doesn't turn things around soon, will they be sellers instead of buyers in July? Will anyone care once Eagles training camp begins?
Losing two straight at home to the lowly Marlins is embarrassing.
It doesn't matter that Bryce Harper ans Rhys Hoskins hit back-to-back homer runs. Both are still not playing that well. Other than Scott Kingery, who is?
Speaking of Kingery, why isn't he leading- off?
I don't think Keltel fires Kapler now. Maybe after the season. It's not the Phillies' way to replace managers in mid-season. But after the season?
Even Kletek's job should be in jeopardy at this point. He hired Kapler. He put this underachieving team together.
Why should the fans care when the team doesn't care? This was supposed to be a year to win, not rebuild. Instead this club is doggingit, choking and floundering to the All-Star break.
They are losing to division rivals. The bullpen again blew the game, the same bullpen once called a "strength" by Manager Gabe Kapler. Kapler got thrown out of the game, his first ejection in his Phillies career. It all seemed so contrived and did nothing to rally the struggling troops.
Who is the leader on this team? Where is GM Matt Klentek? Where is President Andy MacPhial and Owner John Middleton? We see ownership when times are good- what about now?
Vince Valasquez pitched well yesterday and probably earns another start on Thursday vs the Mets.
Cesar Hernandez, a mediocre player at best, didn't run hard out of the box in the 8th inning. He's yet another Phil who doesn't hustle. Will Kapler discipline Hernandez when he didn't discipline Jean Segura?
There is no discipline or consequences on this team. It was another sell-out yesterday and the team played lazy, stupid baseball as thanks.
If the team doesn't turn things around soon, will they be sellers instead of buyers in July? Will anyone care once Eagles training camp begins?
Losing two straight at home to the lowly Marlins is embarrassing.
It doesn't matter that Bryce Harper ans Rhys Hoskins hit back-to-back homer runs. Both are still not playing that well. Other than Scott Kingery, who is?
Speaking of Kingery, why isn't he leading- off?
I don't think Keltel fires Kapler now. Maybe after the season. It's not the Phillies' way to replace managers in mid-season. But after the season?
Even Kletek's job should be in jeopardy at this point. He hired Kapler. He put this underachieving team together.
Why should the fans care when the team doesn't care? This was supposed to be a year to win, not rebuild. Instead this club is doggingit, choking and floundering to the All-Star break.
Saturday, June 22, 2019
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
Bad times at Citizens Bank Park. The Phillies had everything going for them on Friday night: Aaron Nola, 6-1, pitching against one of the worst teams in Baseball, the Miami Marlins; the Phils back home after a tough road trip; Over 44,000 fans attending Chase Utley Retirement Night. Plus the Braves finally lost a game.
Un fortunately the Phillies didn't hold up their end of the bargain, losing 2-1 to Miami. They remain 4 1/2 games behind division-leading Atlanta in NL East.
Nola went 8 innings and looked like the Nola of old, striking out 10 Fish. The only run for the Phils came on a double steal by Harper and Quinn.
Ironically, the Marlins executed a perfect hit-and-run to set up their second run, which proved to be the game-winner. You rarely see a hit-and-run in this age of analytics.
The Phillies twice had a runner on second with no outs ( Quin and Hoskins both doubled). Both runners were stranded on second. No bunts, no hitting the ball to the right side to try and move the runners. Embattled manager Gabe Kapler plays for the home run and rarely does small ball. When the team doesn't hit homers it doesn't score.
The club has now lost 5 games in a row. They are in danger of losing a home series to the lowly Marlins.
Kapler looks in panic mode when he hits Harper lead-off. Why not put speed at the top with Kngery or Quinn?
Philadelphia won't fire Kapler unless the collapse dramatically continues. They will wait until the season ends. Kapler is signed through 2020.
If Kapler goes so should GM Matt Klentek. He hired Kapler. Klentek needs to make moves quickly to try and save this floundering team.
Yes, injuries have hurt, especially the loss of Andrew McCuthen. But the Yankees have had injuries and they are in first place.
Seven games against the Marlins and Mets were expected to be a turnaround at home for the Phillies. This home stand didn't get off to a good start. Time is running out on Gabe Kapler and the 2019 Phillies.
Un fortunately the Phillies didn't hold up their end of the bargain, losing 2-1 to Miami. They remain 4 1/2 games behind division-leading Atlanta in NL East.
Nola went 8 innings and looked like the Nola of old, striking out 10 Fish. The only run for the Phils came on a double steal by Harper and Quinn.
Ironically, the Marlins executed a perfect hit-and-run to set up their second run, which proved to be the game-winner. You rarely see a hit-and-run in this age of analytics.
The Phillies twice had a runner on second with no outs ( Quin and Hoskins both doubled). Both runners were stranded on second. No bunts, no hitting the ball to the right side to try and move the runners. Embattled manager Gabe Kapler plays for the home run and rarely does small ball. When the team doesn't hit homers it doesn't score.
The club has now lost 5 games in a row. They are in danger of losing a home series to the lowly Marlins.
Kapler looks in panic mode when he hits Harper lead-off. Why not put speed at the top with Kngery or Quinn?
Philadelphia won't fire Kapler unless the collapse dramatically continues. They will wait until the season ends. Kapler is signed through 2020.
If Kapler goes so should GM Matt Klentek. He hired Kapler. Klentek needs to make moves quickly to try and save this floundering team.
Yes, injuries have hurt, especially the loss of Andrew McCuthen. But the Yankees have had injuries and they are in first place.
Seven games against the Marlins and Mets were expected to be a turnaround at home for the Phillies. This home stand didn't get off to a good start. Time is running out on Gabe Kapler and the 2019 Phillies.
Friday, June 21, 2019
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES, SIXERS
- How ironic is it that tonight is Chase Utley Night at the ballpark and the Phillies return to town? Utley was known for his hard-nosed style of play, always hustling. Jean Segura and the 2019 Phils are lazy bums, lackadaisical and not always hustling. Manager Gabe Kapler won't hold his players accountable. They get away with not hustling because the players know they can get away with it and nothing will be done.
Kapler needs to be fired. Not only because he has no control over his team but these Phillies are under-achieving. The team is now only four games over .500, 4 1/2 games behind Atlanta. The club is collapsing once again.
GM Matt Klentek also needs to go. He is the one who hired Kapler. Klentek constructed this ill-fitting team. Yes, there have been injuries , especially Andrew McCuthen, but they have no bench or depth and there minor league system is bare.
As the braves go on a long road trip, the Phillies start a 7-game home stand, starting with lowly Miami tonight. Now is the time to make up ground in the division.
Scott Kingery has been the team's hottest hitter. Instead of Kingery hitting lead-off, as he did in the minors, Kapler has Bryce Harper batting first last night in Washington. Kapler is grasping at straws and seems desperate. Not a good message to send to the players.
Yes, they need to sense the urgency and wake up but when they see the skipper panic what are the players to think?
This would be my everyday line-up:
1- Quinn CF
2. Kingery 2B
3. Harper RF
4. Hoskins 1B
5. Realmuto C
6. Bruce LF
7. Segura SS
8. Franco 3B
Aaron Nola pitchd tonight vs the Marlins . Chase Utley's retirement ceremony before the game.
- The Sixers took a small forward in the NBA Draft last night, selected Thyballt , a weak offensive yet great defensive player. Worse, they traded up to # 20 with Boston. Once again, Celtics GM Danny Ainge fleeced Philadelphia. The Sixers deluded themselves into thinking their guy would be gone at # 24. By all indications Boston was not going to take Thyballt. So, once again, Sixers management gets conned by Boston.
Kapler needs to be fired. Not only because he has no control over his team but these Phillies are under-achieving. The team is now only four games over .500, 4 1/2 games behind Atlanta. The club is collapsing once again.
GM Matt Klentek also needs to go. He is the one who hired Kapler. Klentek constructed this ill-fitting team. Yes, there have been injuries , especially Andrew McCuthen, but they have no bench or depth and there minor league system is bare.
As the braves go on a long road trip, the Phillies start a 7-game home stand, starting with lowly Miami tonight. Now is the time to make up ground in the division.
Scott Kingery has been the team's hottest hitter. Instead of Kingery hitting lead-off, as he did in the minors, Kapler has Bryce Harper batting first last night in Washington. Kapler is grasping at straws and seems desperate. Not a good message to send to the players.
Yes, they need to sense the urgency and wake up but when they see the skipper panic what are the players to think?
This would be my everyday line-up:
1- Quinn CF
2. Kingery 2B
3. Harper RF
4. Hoskins 1B
5. Realmuto C
6. Bruce LF
7. Segura SS
8. Franco 3B
Aaron Nola pitchd tonight vs the Marlins . Chase Utley's retirement ceremony before the game.
- The Sixers took a small forward in the NBA Draft last night, selected Thyballt , a weak offensive yet great defensive player. Worse, they traded up to # 20 with Boston. Once again, Celtics GM Danny Ainge fleeced Philadelphia. The Sixers deluded themselves into thinking their guy would be gone at # 24. By all indications Boston was not going to take Thyballt. So, once again, Sixers management gets conned by Boston.
Thursday, June 20, 2019
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER-PHILLIES
Comments on the Phillies' ugly doubleheader sweep at the hands of the Nationals:
Gabe Kapler should be fired. It won't happen because he is joined at the hip with GM Matt Klentek.
Kapler again made excuses for Jean Segura again not running hard in the first inning of Game 2 last night. Let's see if he benches Segura tonight in the finale of the Washington series. He should've immediately pulled Segura from the game .
Kapler brought Cole Irvin into Game 1 in the 8th inning and Irvin surrendered back-to-back home runs. No way Irvin should've been in that game at that point, especially with a rested bullpen.
Also, Kapler applauded Sean Rodriguez for swinging at a 3-0 pitch with two men on base in Game 1.
Kapler is clueless. He leans too heavily on analytics and match-ups. When he goes so must his pitching coach and hitting coach.
The Phillies are only 5 games over .500. They have fallen 4 games behind the Braves in NL East, losing 7 games in two weeks. Collapse #2 has begun.
GM Klentek needs to be fired too. He hired Kapler. He needs to be accountable for that mistake.
I'll never forgive Klentek for picking Mickey Moniak #1 a few years ago in the draft. He was the top overall pick yet is still languishing in the minors. He should be helping the Phillies by now. The Braves and Nationals have young kids helping them. Why not the Phils?
Tonight Nick Pivetta tries to salvage a game in the abbreviated series vs Washington.
Regardless if Segura plays tonight he should be hitting lead-off. He is in a slump and is not getting on base. The offense scored only two runs in the doubleheader. Bat the red-hot Scott Kingery first. or speedy Roman Quinn, not the lazy Segura.
Jake Arrieta actually pitched a decent game in the nightcap. He didn't get any run support.
The Phillies' next ten games are against the Marlins, Mets and again the Marlins. Time to play catch-up before the All-Star break.
Gabe Kapler should be fired. It won't happen because he is joined at the hip with GM Matt Klentek.
Kapler again made excuses for Jean Segura again not running hard in the first inning of Game 2 last night. Let's see if he benches Segura tonight in the finale of the Washington series. He should've immediately pulled Segura from the game .
Kapler brought Cole Irvin into Game 1 in the 8th inning and Irvin surrendered back-to-back home runs. No way Irvin should've been in that game at that point, especially with a rested bullpen.
Also, Kapler applauded Sean Rodriguez for swinging at a 3-0 pitch with two men on base in Game 1.
Kapler is clueless. He leans too heavily on analytics and match-ups. When he goes so must his pitching coach and hitting coach.
The Phillies are only 5 games over .500. They have fallen 4 games behind the Braves in NL East, losing 7 games in two weeks. Collapse #2 has begun.
GM Klentek needs to be fired too. He hired Kapler. He needs to be accountable for that mistake.
I'll never forgive Klentek for picking Mickey Moniak #1 a few years ago in the draft. He was the top overall pick yet is still languishing in the minors. He should be helping the Phillies by now. The Braves and Nationals have young kids helping them. Why not the Phils?
Tonight Nick Pivetta tries to salvage a game in the abbreviated series vs Washington.
Regardless if Segura plays tonight he should be hitting lead-off. He is in a slump and is not getting on base. The offense scored only two runs in the doubleheader. Bat the red-hot Scott Kingery first. or speedy Roman Quinn, not the lazy Segura.
Jake Arrieta actually pitched a decent game in the nightcap. He didn't get any run support.
The Phillies' next ten games are against the Marlins, Mets and again the Marlins. Time to play catch-up before the All-Star break.
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
THIS DAY IN SPORTS HISTORY- JUNE 19
Golden Goal?
On this night in 1999, the Dallas Stars won their first Stanley Cup title, beating the Buffalo Sabres.
At the 14:51 mark of the third overtime of the decisive Game 6, Brett Hull would score the winning goal, though replays showed one of his feet was illegally in the crease while the puck was outside it when he shot.
Final score: Stars 2, Sabres 1.
On this night in 1999, the Dallas Stars won their first Stanley Cup title, beating the Buffalo Sabres.
At the 14:51 mark of the third overtime of the decisive Game 6, Brett Hull would score the winning goal, though replays showed one of his feet was illegally in the crease while the puck was outside it when he shot.
Final score: Stars 2, Sabres 1.
Tuesday, June 18, 2019
BASEBALL TRIVIA
Name the last Phillies' pitcher to lead the league in wins.
A. Robin Roberts
B. Steve Carlton
C. John Denny
D. Roy Halladay
Answer: D.
A winner of 203 games in his 16-year career, 'Doc" Halladay won 21 and took Cy Young Award honors in 2010, his first season with Philadelphia after being traded from Toronto.
It was his second Cy Young Award after posting a 22-7 mark to win his first in 2003. Halladayfinished second in the Cy Young voting in two other seasons.
He died tragically in a plane crash in 2017.
Name the duo whose home run total Mantle and Maris broke in 1961.
A. Eddie Mathews and Hank Aaron
B. Willie Mays and Willie McCovey
C. Jimmie Foxx and Al Simmons
D. Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig
Answer: D.
Ruth and Gehrig combined for 107 home runs in 1927 ( in a 154-game season), when Ruth hit 60 and Gehrig belted 47. Mantle and Maris combined for 115, as Maris broke Ruth's record (over a 162-game schedule) with 61, and Mantle added 54.
A. Robin Roberts
B. Steve Carlton
C. John Denny
D. Roy Halladay
Answer: D.
A winner of 203 games in his 16-year career, 'Doc" Halladay won 21 and took Cy Young Award honors in 2010, his first season with Philadelphia after being traded from Toronto.
It was his second Cy Young Award after posting a 22-7 mark to win his first in 2003. Halladayfinished second in the Cy Young voting in two other seasons.
He died tragically in a plane crash in 2017.
Name the duo whose home run total Mantle and Maris broke in 1961.
A. Eddie Mathews and Hank Aaron
B. Willie Mays and Willie McCovey
C. Jimmie Foxx and Al Simmons
D. Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig
Answer: D.
Ruth and Gehrig combined for 107 home runs in 1927 ( in a 154-game season), when Ruth hit 60 and Gehrig belted 47. Mantle and Maris combined for 115, as Maris broke Ruth's record (over a 162-game schedule) with 61, and Mantle added 54.
THIS DAY IN SPORTS HISTORY- JUNE 18
"The Hands of Time"
In June of 1970, Brian Piccolo, halfback and fullback with the Chicago Bears from 1966-69, lost his life to cancer. Brian's Song is a made-for-TV movie recounting the final years of his life shared with his friend and roommate Gale Sayers.
The adaption of Sayers' book, I Am Third, strikes every emotional chord with a moving musical score and fine performances by James Caan as Piccolo and Billy Dee Williams as Sayers.
In June of 1970, Brian Piccolo, halfback and fullback with the Chicago Bears from 1966-69, lost his life to cancer. Brian's Song is a made-for-TV movie recounting the final years of his life shared with his friend and roommate Gale Sayers.
The adaption of Sayers' book, I Am Third, strikes every emotional chord with a moving musical score and fine performances by James Caan as Piccolo and Billy Dee Williams as Sayers.
Monday, June 17, 2019
REVIEW: THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2
** out of four
The Secret Life of Pets 2 is a cute and sometimes funny animated movie about what our pets do when we leave the house every morning. The first film was funnier and more focused. It featured things thta our pets do that we could relate to. Not so much with the sequel.
I saw the movie Friday night in King of Prussia. Several families were in the theater with us. The kids paid attention but really didn't laugh that much.
The film is made up of three stories: Max, the lead dog in the movie series, goes to a farm with his family and learns how to be the "top dog", learning the ropes from a shepard dog named Rooster ( voice provided by Harrison Ford).Segment two is about Snowball the rabbitt ( voiced by Kevin Hart) who thinks he is a superhero, saving a white tiger form the evil circus. Story three deal with Gidget the fluffy dog pretending to be a cat in order to sneak into the neighborhood Cat-lady's home full of felines to retrieve a Busy-Bee squeaky toy.
The only common link is bravery. Otherwise the movie is pretty disjointed and shifts back and forth from each vignette.
I enjpyed the farm segment the most. I enjoyed the circus segment the least. The rabbit/superhero fantasy was pretty stupid. The parts where pets do everyday pet things ( which everyone can relate to) touched home more and were funnier.
There will probably be a Secret Life Of Pets 3, since the movie is a hit, There is still plenty of story left, as long as the writers keep it real and don't get too much into the violent, Roadrunner typ. slam-bang , slapstick action.
The Secret Life of Pets 2 is a cute and sometimes funny animated movie about what our pets do when we leave the house every morning. The first film was funnier and more focused. It featured things thta our pets do that we could relate to. Not so much with the sequel.
I saw the movie Friday night in King of Prussia. Several families were in the theater with us. The kids paid attention but really didn't laugh that much.
The film is made up of three stories: Max, the lead dog in the movie series, goes to a farm with his family and learns how to be the "top dog", learning the ropes from a shepard dog named Rooster ( voice provided by Harrison Ford).Segment two is about Snowball the rabbitt ( voiced by Kevin Hart) who thinks he is a superhero, saving a white tiger form the evil circus. Story three deal with Gidget the fluffy dog pretending to be a cat in order to sneak into the neighborhood Cat-lady's home full of felines to retrieve a Busy-Bee squeaky toy.
The only common link is bravery. Otherwise the movie is pretty disjointed and shifts back and forth from each vignette.
I enjpyed the farm segment the most. I enjoyed the circus segment the least. The rabbit/superhero fantasy was pretty stupid. The parts where pets do everyday pet things ( which everyone can relate to) touched home more and were funnier.
There will probably be a Secret Life Of Pets 3, since the movie is a hit, There is still plenty of story left, as long as the writers keep it real and don't get too much into the violent, Roadrunner typ. slam-bang , slapstick action.
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
A lost weekend in Atlanta. The Phillies lose two of three and leave Atlanta 2 1/2 games behind the surging Braves.
Has the annual collapse begun? Remember that Gabe Kapler helmed the historic collapse late last year.
Kapler has destroyed this bullpen. After Valaquez, Irvin and Eichoff got rocked on Sunday in a 15-1 loss to Atlanta, the bullpen is in shambles going into the four-game series in Washington, starting tonight.
Stop jerking around Kingery, who is playing great, by making him play multiple positions. Bat Kingery lead-off and play him at second base. Trade Hernandez while his value is high.
I've seen enough of Franco, Valasquez and Eichoff. They are bums.
Herrera has his day in court today. Has if the Phillies don't have enough problems.
The Phils gave up for most of the weekend. Not a good sign. Is Kapler out at the All-Star break if the team continues to slide? Remember, ownership expects the team to win now. Someone has to take the fall.
The club needs to hang in there. After the Natioonals series, the Phils come home to face the Marlins and Mets while the braves go on the road to Washington, Chicago and New York.
Has the annual collapse begun? Remember that Gabe Kapler helmed the historic collapse late last year.
Kapler has destroyed this bullpen. After Valaquez, Irvin and Eichoff got rocked on Sunday in a 15-1 loss to Atlanta, the bullpen is in shambles going into the four-game series in Washington, starting tonight.
Stop jerking around Kingery, who is playing great, by making him play multiple positions. Bat Kingery lead-off and play him at second base. Trade Hernandez while his value is high.
I've seen enough of Franco, Valasquez and Eichoff. They are bums.
Herrera has his day in court today. Has if the Phillies don't have enough problems.
The Phils gave up for most of the weekend. Not a good sign. Is Kapler out at the All-Star break if the team continues to slide? Remember, ownership expects the team to win now. Someone has to take the fall.
The club needs to hang in there. After the Natioonals series, the Phils come home to face the Marlins and Mets while the braves go on the road to Washington, Chicago and New York.
Sunday, June 16, 2019
MY LIFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-70
It's hard to just stop doing what you loved for thirty years. So even though I wasn't a Social Worker at a nursing home any longer I still tried to keep busy doing what I knew how to do best.
I developed a seminar on visiting loved ones in a nursing home setting. I spoke to a small gathering at the local library. Sometimes visiting a nursing home can be an unpleasant experience. My talk was how to get the most out of visits. Almost everyday my residents would say, "I wish more people would come and see me." I understood the fear, the uncertainty of what to say and react to someone suffering form Dementia. It wasn't easy. I related better to families after Mom was a resident.
So I hoped to make things easier. I did an oral presentation and showed the outstanding short film "Peege." It was a real tear-jerker.
I hoped to do more of those presentations down the room. Anything to help.
I also went back to West Chester University. My friend Rick was a professor there and taught Social Work classes. I met him way back in my Manor days when he came in weekly to help us do individual and group counseling. I always admired his kindness and gentle approach.
He really wanted me to visit because he was retiring from teaching after the spring semester. He was heading to Florida with his wife to live the much deserved good life.
I touched base with Rick one April and he asked me to visit one of his Social Work classes. So we worked out a good date and time and Holly and I headed down Route 202 to the campus.
This was my first time back at Wets Chester U. since 1988. The campus sure had changed and the memories flooded back as soon as we parked. Students hustling everywhere, many wearing backpacks, still many more checking their cell phones. The crowded chaos had not changed but we didn't have cell phones back in 1988.
Waiting to get into class it looked like thirty years ago: students sitting on the floor in the halls, studying, listening to music on headphones, talking and texting. I kind of wished I could return to those carefree days when Lori and I were at WCU. So much had happened since then.
Rick was his usual cheerful self as he greeted us. He had an infectious smile, a gray thick mustache and wire rimmed glasses. As always he was dressed impeccably. Didn't look like he had aged a day since the last time I saw him. Interestingly, he was a former body builder who ended up getting his doctorate in Social Work. Go figure.
I could see why the residents loved him so much back in the good old days. He knew that, no matter what, things would be alright. He made you feel that just by spending time with him.
Rick paid me the ultomate compliment by calling me "a Social Worker's Social Worker." I wasn;t sure that was true, but coming from a truly great Social Worker like Rick was a real honor.
For the next hour or so we sat in a circle and answered questions from the twenty or so young students. Most were female, and most were seniors, a group due to graduate soon and enter the challenging world of Social Work.
I thought about how cool it would've been to have a seasoned, experienced Social Worker come to talk to us back then. Maybe I wouldn't have made so many mistakes but I suppose everyone needs to learn the ropes on their own to really appreciate the successes.
We talked Social Work, but I also fielded questions about O.I. and what it was like to get around in a wheelchair. To me, the key points to always remember about Social Work were simple: Always keep a sense of humor; Listening is far more important than giving advice; Never forget about feelings. Use empathy often. You'll find your niche in the field, as I had. Don't give up and don't allow yourself to get burned out. Be honest, be real and be nice to others.
I had mentioned that we had a bit of a challenge getting into the building because of the rocky, gravel parking lot and path leading to the sidewalk and into the building. A few students agreed and suggested they contact someone on campus to make the campus more accessible to wheelchairs, not only the parking lot outside. Awareness is the first step to change.
We had a great time with the students that afternoon. "You guys are the future," I said before leaving. "Make everyone proud,"
Another new project I started after retiring was writing a blog. I always liked writing, going back to my "Wheeling Around Phoenixville" columns in the local paper. I decided to write a similar blog, focusing on disability news, issues and awareness . If I heard about someone in the news who was achieving something extraordinary( like the actress who won a Tony award on Broadway, who happened to use a wheelchair,) , I wanted to make readers aware. New TV shows like "Speechless" were welcome additions, with a main disabled characyer. So did old movies such as "Unbreakable", the film starring Bruce Willis and Samuel T. Jackson, which featured a character with O.I. ( the first time I had ever seen the condition profiled on screen). Refreshingly, Jackson was a villian in the film, proving that not every person with a disability is a hero.
Stories about people with disabilities who do extraordinary things in life- like climbing Mount Everest or sky-diving or whatever the feat- need to be highlighted to prove that anyone can do anything if they try hard enough.
Yet sometimes everyone can't do everything. Especially me. Just because I have a disability doesn't mean I'm Superman. I still have learned to drive, something that sticks in my craw. But I also accept the fact that I'm not perfect, I make mistakes. I'm only human...like everyone else, disabled or able-bodied.
My blog also features sports, music, movies and things I find interesting in life. I don't know if anyone reads my daily blog. It doesn't matter. Writing is good for the soul.
Holly and I live together now. She sold her farm after her beautiful horses passed away. When her beloved dog Zip also died, I convinced her to fill that emptiness in her heart by getting a puppy. She found ( on the Internet again) the perfect dog- a white Morkie named Katie.
Katie is a ball of energy. She's a lot of fun and keeps Bud on his toes. Keeps him young, too.
Thank God Holly has no reoccurance of her tumor. Our past trials and tribulations have made us appreciate life even more now. We have made a good life together.
Mom's garden is full of life again. Along with flowers we put in a beautiful pond and rock garden. Birds flock from everywhere to take a bath in the pond. Mom would love the St. Francis statue that welcomes the birds. I think she would be proud of her garden now.
I stay active by pushing my chair in the neighborhood when I am able .Remaining sedentary, both physically and mentally, is the worse thing I can do. They are watching my heart issue and my Barrett's Disease. Who knows what will happen with both down the road. I try not to worry about it. I still take things one day at a time, like always.
My O.I. is always with me. But I'm lucky. Lucky I don't break as much, lucky to be alive, and lucky I have found someone who truly loves me. I am surrounded by people who care about me. Who can ask for more?
I've thought about returning to a nursing home again, this time to volunteer. My life would come full-circle if that happens. I miss helping people in need.
Sports continues to be a big part of my life. When able, I try to attend a few Phillies and Eagles games every season. It still gives me something to look forward to. When a rare championship does occur, like the Eagles Super Bowl victory, it brings us all together in the community. Then I'm not a fan with a disability who sits the the accessible seating area- I'm just a fan.
Speaking of which, life is easier now when it comes to accessibility. Not every place I go is totally accessible. I still encounter restaurants, shops and public buildings that are not accessible. Sidewalks are still a major issue. But things are better because awareness is high. It's almost as though there is shame now if areas are not accessible to everyone.
My former dentist went to London once. The next time I saw him he remarked that he was thinking of me while he was in England." Why on earth were you thinking of me?" I wondered. " Because," he answered," London (as in many parts of Europe), is not very accessible to wheelchairs. You would have a hard time getting around."
My hope is that the rest of the world catches up to the States when it comes to Disability Rights.
I"m proud that my hometown of Phoenixville recently added an all-access playground to our park. Now kids in wheelchairs can swing and play like able-bodied children.
Music continues to be big part of life. My musical tastes have broadened since I met Holly .Ccountry music is interesting and lyrically similar to the music I grew up with. One can actually understand the words. Artists like The Beatles, Richard Marx and oldies bring me joy, not the crap you hear on the radio today. If I sound like an old guy, well, I guess I am.
I don't care what critics or haters say,.Barry Manilow is still great. His music still touches me, especially his early stuff. He's a musical genius in my opinion. Of course, I may be a little biased.
I haven't seen him in concert in quite some time, but I will always fondly remember the shows, the music and the friends I made because of him so long ago.
It was a strange twist of fate when we met Western singer/songwriter Michael Martin Murphey. Probably his most famous song is 'Wildfire," an iconic song from the 70's about a ghost horse. We were last in the Meet and Greet line but I saw him glancing over at me as he was signing and taking pictures with fans. When it was our turn, he came over, kneeling down beside my chair."Mind if I ask you why you're in the wheelchair?" he said politely.
I told him I have brittle bones and he nodded. "I knew it," he said. "I have a granddaughter with brittle bones."
Turns out she is a college student, doing well but had been through many of the same things I endured over the years. In fact, Murphey has an O.I. foundation that helps people with the condition obtain medical equipment, wheelchairs and other items they need in their lives. Small world!
Finally, that brings me back to my childhood idol. I still listen to his music on occasion. I remain eternally grateful to him for being nice to a sick little kid and the joy his music gave me.
I heard Bobby Rydell wrote a book. The title was "Teen Idol on The Rocks." It was very well done. I felt like I really did ride along on his early musical journey. I highly recommend it.
I read that Bobby was doing a book tour and he was coming to a bookstore in Broomall, Pa. for a signing in late November. I asked Holly if she wanted to go, so off we went.
There was a small line inside the front of the store when we arrived. There were roughly three people ahead of me, all holding copies of Bobby's book , Rydell vinyl record albums, or photos of the singer. I had my own book and an extra item with me.
A younger lady came into the store at the back of the line. She hesitated while checking out the line, mumbling something about "Who is the guy? I don't know this guy.."
I looked at her and shook my head. He's only a rock n' roll icon. Damn millennial.
When it was my turn to approach the table I got my first good look at my childhood idol. It was the first time I was face-to-face with Bobby Rydell in over 55 years.
"Hi," he said, reaching across the small table to shake hands. "How are you? What's your name?"
"Hi, Bobby. I'm Greg."
"Nice to meet you, Greg," He replied, taking my book and opening the front cover to sign. "Is that with one G or two at the end?"
"One, " I said, "And we've met before."
"Really?" he said, looking up from the book as I produced the black and white photo of Bobby and I in his dressing room in Atlantic City in 1960. We were both grinning from ear-to-ear, me sitting on his lap,wearing that same stupid butterscotch checked jacket and bow tie I wore on special occasions when I was a kid.
"I was only four-and-a-half then," I said. He was only 19.
He stared at the picture, mesmerized for a moment. "How old are you now, Greg?"
"I just turned sixty last week."
"My God, Greg!" he gasped, still staring.
"You wote me this letter after we met."
Bobby quickly scanned the handwritten letterthat I now kept in a clear plastic sleeve.The letter basically said how nice it was to meet, how sharp I looked in that jacket, and how Bobby had just recently met his own idol. "Perhaps you heard of him," the letter read. " Frank Sinatra."
"That's my writing all right," he said, partly to himself.
The people behind me seemed fascinated by the reunion but also wanted their moment to have their book signed, so he quickly signed my copy and took a new photo with me, taken by Holly.
He handed the book back to me, saying" Nice to see you again, Greg. It's been a great life."
I could see him remembering back to the good old days when we were both kids.The days of Bandstand, the Steel Pier and youth. We had both come so far.
Back in the car I read his inscription:
To Greg, My lifelong friend. Best Wishes Always, Bobby Rydell.
I closed the book and smiled.
The End.
I developed a seminar on visiting loved ones in a nursing home setting. I spoke to a small gathering at the local library. Sometimes visiting a nursing home can be an unpleasant experience. My talk was how to get the most out of visits. Almost everyday my residents would say, "I wish more people would come and see me." I understood the fear, the uncertainty of what to say and react to someone suffering form Dementia. It wasn't easy. I related better to families after Mom was a resident.
So I hoped to make things easier. I did an oral presentation and showed the outstanding short film "Peege." It was a real tear-jerker.
I hoped to do more of those presentations down the room. Anything to help.
I also went back to West Chester University. My friend Rick was a professor there and taught Social Work classes. I met him way back in my Manor days when he came in weekly to help us do individual and group counseling. I always admired his kindness and gentle approach.
He really wanted me to visit because he was retiring from teaching after the spring semester. He was heading to Florida with his wife to live the much deserved good life.
I touched base with Rick one April and he asked me to visit one of his Social Work classes. So we worked out a good date and time and Holly and I headed down Route 202 to the campus.
This was my first time back at Wets Chester U. since 1988. The campus sure had changed and the memories flooded back as soon as we parked. Students hustling everywhere, many wearing backpacks, still many more checking their cell phones. The crowded chaos had not changed but we didn't have cell phones back in 1988.
Waiting to get into class it looked like thirty years ago: students sitting on the floor in the halls, studying, listening to music on headphones, talking and texting. I kind of wished I could return to those carefree days when Lori and I were at WCU. So much had happened since then.
Rick was his usual cheerful self as he greeted us. He had an infectious smile, a gray thick mustache and wire rimmed glasses. As always he was dressed impeccably. Didn't look like he had aged a day since the last time I saw him. Interestingly, he was a former body builder who ended up getting his doctorate in Social Work. Go figure.
I could see why the residents loved him so much back in the good old days. He knew that, no matter what, things would be alright. He made you feel that just by spending time with him.
Rick paid me the ultomate compliment by calling me "a Social Worker's Social Worker." I wasn;t sure that was true, but coming from a truly great Social Worker like Rick was a real honor.
For the next hour or so we sat in a circle and answered questions from the twenty or so young students. Most were female, and most were seniors, a group due to graduate soon and enter the challenging world of Social Work.
I thought about how cool it would've been to have a seasoned, experienced Social Worker come to talk to us back then. Maybe I wouldn't have made so many mistakes but I suppose everyone needs to learn the ropes on their own to really appreciate the successes.
We talked Social Work, but I also fielded questions about O.I. and what it was like to get around in a wheelchair. To me, the key points to always remember about Social Work were simple: Always keep a sense of humor; Listening is far more important than giving advice; Never forget about feelings. Use empathy often. You'll find your niche in the field, as I had. Don't give up and don't allow yourself to get burned out. Be honest, be real and be nice to others.
I had mentioned that we had a bit of a challenge getting into the building because of the rocky, gravel parking lot and path leading to the sidewalk and into the building. A few students agreed and suggested they contact someone on campus to make the campus more accessible to wheelchairs, not only the parking lot outside. Awareness is the first step to change.
We had a great time with the students that afternoon. "You guys are the future," I said before leaving. "Make everyone proud,"
Another new project I started after retiring was writing a blog. I always liked writing, going back to my "Wheeling Around Phoenixville" columns in the local paper. I decided to write a similar blog, focusing on disability news, issues and awareness . If I heard about someone in the news who was achieving something extraordinary( like the actress who won a Tony award on Broadway, who happened to use a wheelchair,) , I wanted to make readers aware. New TV shows like "Speechless" were welcome additions, with a main disabled characyer. So did old movies such as "Unbreakable", the film starring Bruce Willis and Samuel T. Jackson, which featured a character with O.I. ( the first time I had ever seen the condition profiled on screen). Refreshingly, Jackson was a villian in the film, proving that not every person with a disability is a hero.
Stories about people with disabilities who do extraordinary things in life- like climbing Mount Everest or sky-diving or whatever the feat- need to be highlighted to prove that anyone can do anything if they try hard enough.
Yet sometimes everyone can't do everything. Especially me. Just because I have a disability doesn't mean I'm Superman. I still have learned to drive, something that sticks in my craw. But I also accept the fact that I'm not perfect, I make mistakes. I'm only human...like everyone else, disabled or able-bodied.
My blog also features sports, music, movies and things I find interesting in life. I don't know if anyone reads my daily blog. It doesn't matter. Writing is good for the soul.
Holly and I live together now. She sold her farm after her beautiful horses passed away. When her beloved dog Zip also died, I convinced her to fill that emptiness in her heart by getting a puppy. She found ( on the Internet again) the perfect dog- a white Morkie named Katie.
Katie is a ball of energy. She's a lot of fun and keeps Bud on his toes. Keeps him young, too.
Thank God Holly has no reoccurance of her tumor. Our past trials and tribulations have made us appreciate life even more now. We have made a good life together.
Mom's garden is full of life again. Along with flowers we put in a beautiful pond and rock garden. Birds flock from everywhere to take a bath in the pond. Mom would love the St. Francis statue that welcomes the birds. I think she would be proud of her garden now.
I stay active by pushing my chair in the neighborhood when I am able .Remaining sedentary, both physically and mentally, is the worse thing I can do. They are watching my heart issue and my Barrett's Disease. Who knows what will happen with both down the road. I try not to worry about it. I still take things one day at a time, like always.
My O.I. is always with me. But I'm lucky. Lucky I don't break as much, lucky to be alive, and lucky I have found someone who truly loves me. I am surrounded by people who care about me. Who can ask for more?
I've thought about returning to a nursing home again, this time to volunteer. My life would come full-circle if that happens. I miss helping people in need.
Sports continues to be a big part of my life. When able, I try to attend a few Phillies and Eagles games every season. It still gives me something to look forward to. When a rare championship does occur, like the Eagles Super Bowl victory, it brings us all together in the community. Then I'm not a fan with a disability who sits the the accessible seating area- I'm just a fan.
Speaking of which, life is easier now when it comes to accessibility. Not every place I go is totally accessible. I still encounter restaurants, shops and public buildings that are not accessible. Sidewalks are still a major issue. But things are better because awareness is high. It's almost as though there is shame now if areas are not accessible to everyone.
My former dentist went to London once. The next time I saw him he remarked that he was thinking of me while he was in England." Why on earth were you thinking of me?" I wondered. " Because," he answered," London (as in many parts of Europe), is not very accessible to wheelchairs. You would have a hard time getting around."
My hope is that the rest of the world catches up to the States when it comes to Disability Rights.
I"m proud that my hometown of Phoenixville recently added an all-access playground to our park. Now kids in wheelchairs can swing and play like able-bodied children.
Music continues to be big part of life. My musical tastes have broadened since I met Holly .Ccountry music is interesting and lyrically similar to the music I grew up with. One can actually understand the words. Artists like The Beatles, Richard Marx and oldies bring me joy, not the crap you hear on the radio today. If I sound like an old guy, well, I guess I am.
I don't care what critics or haters say,.Barry Manilow is still great. His music still touches me, especially his early stuff. He's a musical genius in my opinion. Of course, I may be a little biased.
I haven't seen him in concert in quite some time, but I will always fondly remember the shows, the music and the friends I made because of him so long ago.
It was a strange twist of fate when we met Western singer/songwriter Michael Martin Murphey. Probably his most famous song is 'Wildfire," an iconic song from the 70's about a ghost horse. We were last in the Meet and Greet line but I saw him glancing over at me as he was signing and taking pictures with fans. When it was our turn, he came over, kneeling down beside my chair."Mind if I ask you why you're in the wheelchair?" he said politely.
I told him I have brittle bones and he nodded. "I knew it," he said. "I have a granddaughter with brittle bones."
Turns out she is a college student, doing well but had been through many of the same things I endured over the years. In fact, Murphey has an O.I. foundation that helps people with the condition obtain medical equipment, wheelchairs and other items they need in their lives. Small world!
Finally, that brings me back to my childhood idol. I still listen to his music on occasion. I remain eternally grateful to him for being nice to a sick little kid and the joy his music gave me.
I heard Bobby Rydell wrote a book. The title was "Teen Idol on The Rocks." It was very well done. I felt like I really did ride along on his early musical journey. I highly recommend it.
I read that Bobby was doing a book tour and he was coming to a bookstore in Broomall, Pa. for a signing in late November. I asked Holly if she wanted to go, so off we went.
There was a small line inside the front of the store when we arrived. There were roughly three people ahead of me, all holding copies of Bobby's book , Rydell vinyl record albums, or photos of the singer. I had my own book and an extra item with me.
A younger lady came into the store at the back of the line. She hesitated while checking out the line, mumbling something about "Who is the guy? I don't know this guy.."
I looked at her and shook my head. He's only a rock n' roll icon. Damn millennial.
When it was my turn to approach the table I got my first good look at my childhood idol. It was the first time I was face-to-face with Bobby Rydell in over 55 years.
"Hi," he said, reaching across the small table to shake hands. "How are you? What's your name?"
"Hi, Bobby. I'm Greg."
"Nice to meet you, Greg," He replied, taking my book and opening the front cover to sign. "Is that with one G or two at the end?"
"One, " I said, "And we've met before."
"Really?" he said, looking up from the book as I produced the black and white photo of Bobby and I in his dressing room in Atlantic City in 1960. We were both grinning from ear-to-ear, me sitting on his lap,wearing that same stupid butterscotch checked jacket and bow tie I wore on special occasions when I was a kid.
"I was only four-and-a-half then," I said. He was only 19.
He stared at the picture, mesmerized for a moment. "How old are you now, Greg?"
"I just turned sixty last week."
"My God, Greg!" he gasped, still staring.
"You wote me this letter after we met."
Bobby quickly scanned the handwritten letterthat I now kept in a clear plastic sleeve.The letter basically said how nice it was to meet, how sharp I looked in that jacket, and how Bobby had just recently met his own idol. "Perhaps you heard of him," the letter read. " Frank Sinatra."
"That's my writing all right," he said, partly to himself.
The people behind me seemed fascinated by the reunion but also wanted their moment to have their book signed, so he quickly signed my copy and took a new photo with me, taken by Holly.
He handed the book back to me, saying" Nice to see you again, Greg. It's been a great life."
I could see him remembering back to the good old days when we were both kids.The days of Bandstand, the Steel Pier and youth. We had both come so far.
Back in the car I read his inscription:
To Greg, My lifelong friend. Best Wishes Always, Bobby Rydell.
I closed the book and smiled.
The End.
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES
- Big win for the Phillies last night in Atlanta. After a brutal loss on Friday the Phils bounced back with a dramatic 9th inning comeback to beat the Braves. Instead of being a distant 3 1/2 games in back of Atlanta in NL East, the team is 1 1/2 games behind, with a chance to creep to only 1/2 game before heading to Washington for four games this week.
Cesar Hernandez, who has been struggling lately, came up with with a solo home run and a 9th inning, two-run single to put the team ahead. Scott Kingery continued his hot hitting, cracking three more hits.
A concern is still Aaron Nola, who didn't even get out of the 5th inning. I still think he is hurt. His lack of control remains a mystery. His delivery is slightly different from last year. I don't know why Nola or the pitching coach can't see it and correct it.
I've had problems with the Phillies' coaches. Their hitting approach is inconsistent. Of course, it's analytically based, uppercut swings for home runs.
Will Cole Irvin start today? Or will it be a bullpen game? I don't know why Gabe Kapler would burn out his bullpen just before another big series in Washington. Why not let Irvin start the game> Then again, I don't agree with many of Kapler's moves.
This weekend series with Atlanta is the first three games of a 26-game block of games with division rivals. The Nationals, Marlins, Mets and Braves again before the All-Star break.
Cesar Hernandez, who has been struggling lately, came up with with a solo home run and a 9th inning, two-run single to put the team ahead. Scott Kingery continued his hot hitting, cracking three more hits.
A concern is still Aaron Nola, who didn't even get out of the 5th inning. I still think he is hurt. His lack of control remains a mystery. His delivery is slightly different from last year. I don't know why Nola or the pitching coach can't see it and correct it.
I've had problems with the Phillies' coaches. Their hitting approach is inconsistent. Of course, it's analytically based, uppercut swings for home runs.
Will Cole Irvin start today? Or will it be a bullpen game? I don't know why Gabe Kapler would burn out his bullpen just before another big series in Washington. Why not let Irvin start the game> Then again, I don't agree with many of Kapler's moves.
This weekend series with Atlanta is the first three games of a 26-game block of games with division rivals. The Nationals, Marlins, Mets and Braves again before the All-Star break.
Saturday, June 15, 2019
MY LIFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-69
Holly's brave recovery continued though the summer. She wasn't allowed to drive for several months but her family made sure we saw each other often. Bud missed her so he was also included with any meeting.
The visiting nurse checked in with her. By all accounts she was doing remarkably well for what she had been through. Her follow-up appointment with the neuro-surgeon was after Labor Day and all of her scans and tests showed no more signs of a tumor. The decision to do a round of Radiation therapy would be made around the holidays.
I was so glad she was getting better with each passing day. At first I didn't tell her that I wasn't feeling well. It wasn't my legs this time.
Everything seemed to hit me at once. Yet another kidney stone, despite the fact it seemed like I was drinking gallons of water every day. My acid reflux was getting worse. A non-stop, persistent cough was the tell-tale sign. I started to get indigestion in the 1990s, including my favorite, Italian food. Maybe it was age but I couldn't take spicy foods any longer.
I adjusted my diet and got on medication. Then I had a routine colonoscopy and endoscopy and they found Barrett's Disease of my Esophagus. A precursor to cancer.
During the testing they also concluded I had a leaky value in my heart. So that's why I had been so tired lately and short of breath. Between stress at work and worrying about Holly I was pretty tired at the end of each day.
They thought the heart issue may have been a by-product of my O.I. So was the worsening Scoliosis in my back.Weirdly, the trunk of my upper body was slowly turning to the left. I sometimes felt like a Philly soft pretzel. Would I be able to look behind me someday like in "The Exorcist?" It wasn't funny, but I had to laugh for fear of crying.
I was slowly breaking down. Like an old car in need of repairs to keep running, we all age and sometimes need a tune-up. But my problems seemed too sudden, too acute and were more than just the normal aging process.
No one really knew what to expect from someone my age with O.I. It was foreign territory to most doctors.
I didn't suffer full-blown fractures any longer, as was the case when I was a kid, but now the O.I. reminded me of it's presence in chronic ways. I was getting more and more stress fractures now, the kind they really couldn't cast. They would hurt for a few weeks then go away. I was getting them everywhere now- my legs, back, ribs. Arthritis was my constant companion in all of my joints and bones. Whenever they did x-rays or bone scans it was difficult to read the new cracks from the old, as my bones looked like a road map, with all the lines zig-zagging here and there.In that way I was coming full-circle from my childhood.
I began to assemble more and more doctors, most young, certainly younger than me. I now had a Cardiologist, an Endocrinologist, a Pain Management physician, and a Medical Genetics doctor. Those along with my usual family doctor, Orthopedic guy and Urologist. My calendar seemed to be full of doctor appointments as the weeks and months flew by.
The really interesting one was the Medical Genetics doctor. Her name was Dr.. Kaliish and she was excellent. A short, cute blond with curly hair and a nice smile. I found her looking on the Internet at Penn. I typed in Osteogenisus Imperfecti and there she was.
She happened to be one of the leading authorities on O.I. Hardly anyone in the suburbs was familiar with the condition so I was happy to find someone relatively close who could understand what was happening to me.
I began seeing her every six months and she gave me so much information on O.I. that even I didn't know. Turns out I was one of the oldest people around with the severity of brittle bones that I had. Age didn't matter to me- I was just glad to still be kicking, especially after she told me the life expectancy of someone with O.I. was twenty-five years. I had more then doubled the average life span.
She helped make life easier by suggesting different equipment and treatments. Lighter wheelchairs to make pushing easier; a shower chair with a roll-in shower so I didn't need to transfer as often and to avoid slipping and potential falls; special cushions to make sittimg in the wheelchair all day more tolerable; and new medication to help ease the pain.
There still was no cure for O.I. Progress was being made for future patients. My life was now basically maintain whatever positives I still possessed and make life more comfortable. Quality of life was key now.
My worsening physical condition was effecting me at work. I couldn't keep up. I knew it but didn't want to admit it and hid the truth for a long time. I loved my work and and I was determined not to allow my body to call the shots when it came to my future.
In the end my body won. They were watching the heart issue and I was on new medication for the Barrett's Disease. But no matter what I did regarding cushions or wheelchairs or pain meds ( I always hated taking pain-killers), I had to finally come to the conclusion that I needed a change of lifestyle.
I found Holly and had a good life now. The future was worth living. I had another reason to keep kicking. So, I reluctantly took the early retirement package the facility was offering all employees at the beginning of the year. I did so with a heavy heart and a bittersweet feeling in my soul. I would miss my work and my residents but I was still determined to stay active, remain in Social Work somehow and not just fade away.
Somehow, someway, I would always be a Social Worker.
Around Christmas it was decided that Holly should have radiation . Her tumor was the kind likely to come back so her doctors at Penn advised a round of 33 treatments, everyday. She should tolerate it well however one of the side effects was she would lose her beautiful hair.
She trusted her doctors but considered a second opinion. Brain surgery didn't exactly thrill her but frying her brain for over a month was scary. So she did more research and got an appointment with one of the best tumor guys at the world famous Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland.
We both had never been to Baltimore before. It was a mild day for January as we made the two hour trip down I-95. The following spring we would venture to Camden Yards in Baltimore to see the Phillies play the Orioles. This journey wasn't as much fun.
The Hopkins doctors also advised radiation. And so it was, starting in March, the Proton beam treatments at Penn would begin.
Funny, we both thought kind of guilty over what was happening. "You didn't sign up for this" was the feeling yet we had found each other for a reason, and now we needed each other's support to get through the tough times.
Holly's radiation schedule varied during the course of 33 treatments. The March weather cooperated. For the most part, so did the infamous Schuylkill Expressway as we made the daily 45-minute commute to the city. We met so many wonderful people there during this time, both staff and patients and families. Young, old, black and white, all races and nationalities. Cancer doesn't discriminate. All brave folks, and we chatted with many while waiting each day.This goes on every day I told myself. It never ends.
On Holly's first day of treatment, as we were sitting in the lounge area, nervously waiting for her name to be called, we heard the ringing of a bell. It was similar to a school bell and it was coming from the other side of the lounge. We investigated and found that a bell had been set up and each time a survivor completed their entire treatment they could ring the bell in joyful celebration.
Holly's day to ring the bell seemed so far away.
She drove to Penn and back daily. I was with her most days. We grew accustomed to familiar staff, like parking attendants and receptionists who warmly greeted us. We met patients who lived both locally and who temporarily moved to Philadelphia until their treatment was over. Some were getting both radiation and chemotherapy. Things could always be worse.
I felt especially bad for the children. Many had lost their hair. many looked so tired and worn-down. But many still wore big smiles, knowing that with each treatment they were coming closer and closer to the end. Hope was a key word I heard often at Penn.I was touched by the courage I witnessed at Penn and remembered how I felt as a child, going through so much frightening procedures. I admired the kids even more because, in a small way, I could relate.
Holly didn't get sick form the radiation but, as the doctors predicted, she started growing more fatigued. Some days she had her treatments and then met with the radiologist, Dr. Lustik. Everyone was so reassuring and positive yet honest and carefully explained every detail.
I think the most support Holly needed through the entire ordeal since she found out about the brain tumor was when she started losing her hair. I'm sure she worried how it would effect me. The answer was not at all. She was beautiful, no matter what. Maybe even more so now as her inner beauty was shining through.
I held her and whispered that I was there for her.We cried together.
We traveled in the area to find an appropriate wig, as they warned that her hair may not fully grow back for close to a year. The wig was pretty close to what her hair had looked like before treatment. She also wore hats and caps and bandanas. Holly was far from vain but I understood how this deeply effected her.
Day after day, time after time, the treatments came down to a final dose. That last day was fortunately the only time we were caught in a traffic jam on the expressway. God was on our side all this time and we were lucky to avoid most accidents, closed exit ramps, and road projects that may have presented an obstacle.
After the final treatment Holly proudly stepped up to the bell, after several other patients took their turns , and she triumphantly rang the bell and smiled as cameras flashed around rher.
In that instant Holly officially went from patient to survivor.
The visiting nurse checked in with her. By all accounts she was doing remarkably well for what she had been through. Her follow-up appointment with the neuro-surgeon was after Labor Day and all of her scans and tests showed no more signs of a tumor. The decision to do a round of Radiation therapy would be made around the holidays.
I was so glad she was getting better with each passing day. At first I didn't tell her that I wasn't feeling well. It wasn't my legs this time.
Everything seemed to hit me at once. Yet another kidney stone, despite the fact it seemed like I was drinking gallons of water every day. My acid reflux was getting worse. A non-stop, persistent cough was the tell-tale sign. I started to get indigestion in the 1990s, including my favorite, Italian food. Maybe it was age but I couldn't take spicy foods any longer.
I adjusted my diet and got on medication. Then I had a routine colonoscopy and endoscopy and they found Barrett's Disease of my Esophagus. A precursor to cancer.
During the testing they also concluded I had a leaky value in my heart. So that's why I had been so tired lately and short of breath. Between stress at work and worrying about Holly I was pretty tired at the end of each day.
They thought the heart issue may have been a by-product of my O.I. So was the worsening Scoliosis in my back.Weirdly, the trunk of my upper body was slowly turning to the left. I sometimes felt like a Philly soft pretzel. Would I be able to look behind me someday like in "The Exorcist?" It wasn't funny, but I had to laugh for fear of crying.
I was slowly breaking down. Like an old car in need of repairs to keep running, we all age and sometimes need a tune-up. But my problems seemed too sudden, too acute and were more than just the normal aging process.
No one really knew what to expect from someone my age with O.I. It was foreign territory to most doctors.
I didn't suffer full-blown fractures any longer, as was the case when I was a kid, but now the O.I. reminded me of it's presence in chronic ways. I was getting more and more stress fractures now, the kind they really couldn't cast. They would hurt for a few weeks then go away. I was getting them everywhere now- my legs, back, ribs. Arthritis was my constant companion in all of my joints and bones. Whenever they did x-rays or bone scans it was difficult to read the new cracks from the old, as my bones looked like a road map, with all the lines zig-zagging here and there.In that way I was coming full-circle from my childhood.
I began to assemble more and more doctors, most young, certainly younger than me. I now had a Cardiologist, an Endocrinologist, a Pain Management physician, and a Medical Genetics doctor. Those along with my usual family doctor, Orthopedic guy and Urologist. My calendar seemed to be full of doctor appointments as the weeks and months flew by.
The really interesting one was the Medical Genetics doctor. Her name was Dr.. Kaliish and she was excellent. A short, cute blond with curly hair and a nice smile. I found her looking on the Internet at Penn. I typed in Osteogenisus Imperfecti and there she was.
She happened to be one of the leading authorities on O.I. Hardly anyone in the suburbs was familiar with the condition so I was happy to find someone relatively close who could understand what was happening to me.
I began seeing her every six months and she gave me so much information on O.I. that even I didn't know. Turns out I was one of the oldest people around with the severity of brittle bones that I had. Age didn't matter to me- I was just glad to still be kicking, especially after she told me the life expectancy of someone with O.I. was twenty-five years. I had more then doubled the average life span.
She helped make life easier by suggesting different equipment and treatments. Lighter wheelchairs to make pushing easier; a shower chair with a roll-in shower so I didn't need to transfer as often and to avoid slipping and potential falls; special cushions to make sittimg in the wheelchair all day more tolerable; and new medication to help ease the pain.
There still was no cure for O.I. Progress was being made for future patients. My life was now basically maintain whatever positives I still possessed and make life more comfortable. Quality of life was key now.
My worsening physical condition was effecting me at work. I couldn't keep up. I knew it but didn't want to admit it and hid the truth for a long time. I loved my work and and I was determined not to allow my body to call the shots when it came to my future.
In the end my body won. They were watching the heart issue and I was on new medication for the Barrett's Disease. But no matter what I did regarding cushions or wheelchairs or pain meds ( I always hated taking pain-killers), I had to finally come to the conclusion that I needed a change of lifestyle.
I found Holly and had a good life now. The future was worth living. I had another reason to keep kicking. So, I reluctantly took the early retirement package the facility was offering all employees at the beginning of the year. I did so with a heavy heart and a bittersweet feeling in my soul. I would miss my work and my residents but I was still determined to stay active, remain in Social Work somehow and not just fade away.
Somehow, someway, I would always be a Social Worker.
Around Christmas it was decided that Holly should have radiation . Her tumor was the kind likely to come back so her doctors at Penn advised a round of 33 treatments, everyday. She should tolerate it well however one of the side effects was she would lose her beautiful hair.
She trusted her doctors but considered a second opinion. Brain surgery didn't exactly thrill her but frying her brain for over a month was scary. So she did more research and got an appointment with one of the best tumor guys at the world famous Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland.
We both had never been to Baltimore before. It was a mild day for January as we made the two hour trip down I-95. The following spring we would venture to Camden Yards in Baltimore to see the Phillies play the Orioles. This journey wasn't as much fun.
The Hopkins doctors also advised radiation. And so it was, starting in March, the Proton beam treatments at Penn would begin.
Funny, we both thought kind of guilty over what was happening. "You didn't sign up for this" was the feeling yet we had found each other for a reason, and now we needed each other's support to get through the tough times.
Holly's radiation schedule varied during the course of 33 treatments. The March weather cooperated. For the most part, so did the infamous Schuylkill Expressway as we made the daily 45-minute commute to the city. We met so many wonderful people there during this time, both staff and patients and families. Young, old, black and white, all races and nationalities. Cancer doesn't discriminate. All brave folks, and we chatted with many while waiting each day.This goes on every day I told myself. It never ends.
On Holly's first day of treatment, as we were sitting in the lounge area, nervously waiting for her name to be called, we heard the ringing of a bell. It was similar to a school bell and it was coming from the other side of the lounge. We investigated and found that a bell had been set up and each time a survivor completed their entire treatment they could ring the bell in joyful celebration.
Holly's day to ring the bell seemed so far away.
She drove to Penn and back daily. I was with her most days. We grew accustomed to familiar staff, like parking attendants and receptionists who warmly greeted us. We met patients who lived both locally and who temporarily moved to Philadelphia until their treatment was over. Some were getting both radiation and chemotherapy. Things could always be worse.
I felt especially bad for the children. Many had lost their hair. many looked so tired and worn-down. But many still wore big smiles, knowing that with each treatment they were coming closer and closer to the end. Hope was a key word I heard often at Penn.I was touched by the courage I witnessed at Penn and remembered how I felt as a child, going through so much frightening procedures. I admired the kids even more because, in a small way, I could relate.
Holly didn't get sick form the radiation but, as the doctors predicted, she started growing more fatigued. Some days she had her treatments and then met with the radiologist, Dr. Lustik. Everyone was so reassuring and positive yet honest and carefully explained every detail.
I think the most support Holly needed through the entire ordeal since she found out about the brain tumor was when she started losing her hair. I'm sure she worried how it would effect me. The answer was not at all. She was beautiful, no matter what. Maybe even more so now as her inner beauty was shining through.
I held her and whispered that I was there for her.We cried together.
We traveled in the area to find an appropriate wig, as they warned that her hair may not fully grow back for close to a year. The wig was pretty close to what her hair had looked like before treatment. She also wore hats and caps and bandanas. Holly was far from vain but I understood how this deeply effected her.
Day after day, time after time, the treatments came down to a final dose. That last day was fortunately the only time we were caught in a traffic jam on the expressway. God was on our side all this time and we were lucky to avoid most accidents, closed exit ramps, and road projects that may have presented an obstacle.
After the final treatment Holly proudly stepped up to the bell, after several other patients took their turns , and she triumphantly rang the bell and smiled as cameras flashed around rher.
In that instant Holly officially went from patient to survivor.
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES, EAGLES, NBA, NHL
- The Phillies suffered a devastating loss last night in Atlanta, blowing leads of 5-1 and 7-2, ultimately losing 9-8 in the 9th inning.
Devastating because it was at the hands of the hot braves, who won their 8th consecutive game. Devastating because it cost the Phils two games to a division rival. Now, instead of being only 1/2 game behind Atlanta in National League East, the team is 2 1/2 games out. Devastating because of the way thye blew the lead, including the first blown save by closer Hector Neris. Happy 30th Birthday, Hector! An unforgettable birthday.
I don't trust Neris, even though he has bee good all year. He wilts under pressure in really big games, like last night. GM Matt Klentek needs to find bullpen help quick. The guys coming back, like Neshek and Hunter, aren't that good. I'm not excited about their return. Granted, pitchers like Ramos stink and shouldn't be in the major leagues. So Klentek needs to get better relief pitchers.
Rafel Inglesias came in last weekend with Cincinnati. The Reds are going nowhere. Inglesias is the type of reliever Klentek needs to focus on trading for.
Don't blame Hoskins, Kingery and Harper for the brutal loss. They came up big with home runs. The offense is still inconsistent. They don't play small ball well. They still don't have a true lead-off hitter. The line-up isn't consistent.
You just can't lose a key game like that last night. Not if you are a real pennant contender. They still need pitching and an outfielder. by July 31st.
Let's see what the Phillies are made of tonight. Aaron Nola starts. Sunday will probably be a bullpen game. No starter has been announced.
The braves have so many good, young players. Their line-up is stacked and they don't always try to hit home runs. They make contact and do what it takes to move runners on the bases.
What the hell is that mascot the braves have? It's name is Blooper but what is it? An animal?
Also, that stupid "tomahawk chop" is even worse when opposing teams make a pitching change. The stadium lowers it's lights and the Atlanta fans light-up their cell phones while "chopping" at the field and the new relief pitcher. It's dumb.
The Braves' organization did show class by acknowledging the death of Phillies' David Montgomery and left flowers in the Phillies' clubhouse in honor of Montgomery.
Nick Pivetta pitched another good game. He couldn't survive the 7th inning or hold a 5-run lead. But the bullpen blew the game, not Pivetta.
Siranthony Dominduez got an injection into his right elbow which may let him pitch again later this summer. I'm no doctor but if he still needs Tommy john surgery, why not get it done now so maybe he can come back late next year?
- The Eagles wrapped up mini-camp . Wentz looks healthy. Jenkins is back. DeSean Jackson showed what he will do this season, giving the offense the home run threat it needs. I can't wait for the season to start.
Kudos to the Raptors and Blues. Nice to see different teams winning championships. Both won't win again ext season but nice they had their day in the sun.
'
Golden State, without Durant and Thompson, will not make it to the Finals next year. Who will- the Rockets, Trail Blazers or Nuggets?
Devastating because it was at the hands of the hot braves, who won their 8th consecutive game. Devastating because it cost the Phils two games to a division rival. Now, instead of being only 1/2 game behind Atlanta in National League East, the team is 2 1/2 games out. Devastating because of the way thye blew the lead, including the first blown save by closer Hector Neris. Happy 30th Birthday, Hector! An unforgettable birthday.
I don't trust Neris, even though he has bee good all year. He wilts under pressure in really big games, like last night. GM Matt Klentek needs to find bullpen help quick. The guys coming back, like Neshek and Hunter, aren't that good. I'm not excited about their return. Granted, pitchers like Ramos stink and shouldn't be in the major leagues. So Klentek needs to get better relief pitchers.
Rafel Inglesias came in last weekend with Cincinnati. The Reds are going nowhere. Inglesias is the type of reliever Klentek needs to focus on trading for.
Don't blame Hoskins, Kingery and Harper for the brutal loss. They came up big with home runs. The offense is still inconsistent. They don't play small ball well. They still don't have a true lead-off hitter. The line-up isn't consistent.
You just can't lose a key game like that last night. Not if you are a real pennant contender. They still need pitching and an outfielder. by July 31st.
Let's see what the Phillies are made of tonight. Aaron Nola starts. Sunday will probably be a bullpen game. No starter has been announced.
The braves have so many good, young players. Their line-up is stacked and they don't always try to hit home runs. They make contact and do what it takes to move runners on the bases.
What the hell is that mascot the braves have? It's name is Blooper but what is it? An animal?
Also, that stupid "tomahawk chop" is even worse when opposing teams make a pitching change. The stadium lowers it's lights and the Atlanta fans light-up their cell phones while "chopping" at the field and the new relief pitcher. It's dumb.
The Braves' organization did show class by acknowledging the death of Phillies' David Montgomery and left flowers in the Phillies' clubhouse in honor of Montgomery.
Nick Pivetta pitched another good game. He couldn't survive the 7th inning or hold a 5-run lead. But the bullpen blew the game, not Pivetta.
Siranthony Dominduez got an injection into his right elbow which may let him pitch again later this summer. I'm no doctor but if he still needs Tommy john surgery, why not get it done now so maybe he can come back late next year?
- The Eagles wrapped up mini-camp . Wentz looks healthy. Jenkins is back. DeSean Jackson showed what he will do this season, giving the offense the home run threat it needs. I can't wait for the season to start.
Kudos to the Raptors and Blues. Nice to see different teams winning championships. Both won't win again ext season but nice they had their day in the sun.
'
Golden State, without Durant and Thompson, will not make it to the Finals next year. Who will- the Rockets, Trail Blazers or Nuggets?
Friday, June 14, 2019
MY LIFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-68
Holly was doing some gardening at her place one afternoon. She crouching down and suddenly felt a severe stabbing pain in her head. Bewildered, she called me , even though the pain had subsided.
"Call the doctor," I said. "Right now!"
She did and they ordered tests, both blood tests and a CAT-scan. They found a brain tumor, about the size of a walnut, at the top of her skull.
She never had any indication of problems before. In fact, other than bum knees and a bad back, Holly was pretty healthy. She ate right, exercised and kept active.
Brain tumor. Right away I told her, "You'll be OK," when I hugged her later that night. God and Mom didn't have me find her, only to take her away from me.
Holly went to a local Neurologist who advised her to wait. "Let's keep an eye on it for a few months,' he advised. Not satisfied with that answer she got an appointment with one of the leading neuro- surgeons at the University of Pennsylvania, in fact, in the worl. His name was , Dr. Brem.
I had not been on the Penn campus since my days studying computer programming for Vocational Rehab, back in the 70s. The new Children's Hospital was located next to the sprawling Penn medical buildings. Most had shiny glass exteriors. One of the best hospitals on the world.
"Soft hands," I thought as we shook hands in his office at Penn. Holly liked Dr. Bren from the start and so did I. A soft-spoken gentleman, maybe in his 60s, with a friendly smile, he oozed confidence. I sat alongside Holly as the doctor asked her numerous questions and discussed the results of the scans that were forwarded to him.
The good news was that he didn't think it was malignant. He knew his tumors after so many years, and thousands of operations. His manner was calm and that rubbed off on me and Holly. He was positive she would ultimately be fine. But a long road was ahead.
He recommended the tumor be removed. No waiting. It was still small enough to reach before it started tangling itself around arteries, veins and what have you. It was too close to the main artery in the brain to fool around with. Get it now while the getting was good.
Holly could wait and think about it. But the longer she waited the more likely the tumor would start to effect her senses. Loss of vision, more painful headaches, possible weakness on one side of her body, the list went on and on.
It wasn't much of a choice. Holly was a true fighter and she agreed to the surgery. Dr, Brem got out his phone and scheduled it right then and there. She was booked for the morning of Monday, July 21st- less than two weeks away.
We left Brem's office still shaken. One day she's fine, the next a brain tumor? It didn't seem real.
Dr. Brem was very reassuring however, and he explained all the details of the impending surgery. She would still have her lovely blond curls- they would make an incision where it would hardl be noticed. The operation would last seven or eight hours, depending on how things went. She would be in the hospital for a few days, then recover at home for about eight weeks . No driving during that time.
Those were just the basics. A lot to take in and digest. I went home and prayed. Even though Brem sounded pretty positive I was the ultimate worrier.
Holly rarely cried. She did get misty-eyed at the movies when we watched a good tear-jerker about dogs or a love story. I can only remember her crying once before the surgery, when she saw me crying. So I would head for the bathroom when I felt sad, thinking about life without her now.
She was always learning, always interested in information, and the brain tumor was no different. She looked up everything she could on the internet about her type of tumor, everything about the upcoming surgery. Me, I would rather not know and deal with it when it happens ,but Holly wanted to be prepared, for better or for worse.
There were six of us in the car as we left my house for Philadelphia on the morning of July 21st. It was still dark but there was a hint of the coming dawn on the horizon. More of Holly's family would meet us in the waiting room at Penn. We had to be there early for prep as surgery was scheduled for 8 o"clock sharp.
We stayed with Holly for as long as we could. I held her hand through the side-rails of the stretcher. She was already hooked up to IV's and machines. Both Dr. Brem, his assistant and the rest of the team popped by. Just like that she was gone and the long wait began.
I chatted with Holly's family, who by now were like my own family. I'm glad they liked me, even after they found out how we originally met. I'm glad they gave me a chance as well. I had a history of disapproving families.
We read newspapers and books, worked on a laptop, napped and mostly watched the clock while sitting in the waiting room. I tried to believe my own words: "You'll be OK..."
Almost seven hours later we met briefly with Dr. Brem, who brought us the good news that the surgery went well. They removed the tumor and the prognosis was good. Most importantly it was not cancer.
Soon we met Holly in Recovery. She was wide awake and alert, far more awake than any of us expected, her head wrapped with bandages. We were amazed how well she looked and sounded, considering that she just went through major brain surgery.
She mentioned something about "needing to take the car down the expressway" so we knew she was still a little woozy. I was wearing a Brian Dawkins midnight green # 20 Eagles jersey, which was brought up in the conversation somehow and Holly laid her head back and sighed "God, I hate football!"
Her family thought she was still loopy until I said, "No, she's right. She really does hate football!" That made me feel better.
They would take her to a regular room soon. Before we departed the hospital to let her rest she said "I'll call you tonight at seven."
"No you won't!" I replied. "You just had brain surgery. You need to rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow, if you're up to it."
Damned if she didn't call, right at seven, my new cell phone ringing. We talked briefly. She sounded good but understandably tired. What a long day. Yet she still had me on her mind to call at our usual time.
Holly was quite a girl.
"Call the doctor," I said. "Right now!"
She did and they ordered tests, both blood tests and a CAT-scan. They found a brain tumor, about the size of a walnut, at the top of her skull.
She never had any indication of problems before. In fact, other than bum knees and a bad back, Holly was pretty healthy. She ate right, exercised and kept active.
Brain tumor. Right away I told her, "You'll be OK," when I hugged her later that night. God and Mom didn't have me find her, only to take her away from me.
Holly went to a local Neurologist who advised her to wait. "Let's keep an eye on it for a few months,' he advised. Not satisfied with that answer she got an appointment with one of the leading neuro- surgeons at the University of Pennsylvania, in fact, in the worl. His name was , Dr. Brem.
I had not been on the Penn campus since my days studying computer programming for Vocational Rehab, back in the 70s. The new Children's Hospital was located next to the sprawling Penn medical buildings. Most had shiny glass exteriors. One of the best hospitals on the world.
"Soft hands," I thought as we shook hands in his office at Penn. Holly liked Dr. Bren from the start and so did I. A soft-spoken gentleman, maybe in his 60s, with a friendly smile, he oozed confidence. I sat alongside Holly as the doctor asked her numerous questions and discussed the results of the scans that were forwarded to him.
The good news was that he didn't think it was malignant. He knew his tumors after so many years, and thousands of operations. His manner was calm and that rubbed off on me and Holly. He was positive she would ultimately be fine. But a long road was ahead.
He recommended the tumor be removed. No waiting. It was still small enough to reach before it started tangling itself around arteries, veins and what have you. It was too close to the main artery in the brain to fool around with. Get it now while the getting was good.
Holly could wait and think about it. But the longer she waited the more likely the tumor would start to effect her senses. Loss of vision, more painful headaches, possible weakness on one side of her body, the list went on and on.
It wasn't much of a choice. Holly was a true fighter and she agreed to the surgery. Dr, Brem got out his phone and scheduled it right then and there. She was booked for the morning of Monday, July 21st- less than two weeks away.
We left Brem's office still shaken. One day she's fine, the next a brain tumor? It didn't seem real.
Dr. Brem was very reassuring however, and he explained all the details of the impending surgery. She would still have her lovely blond curls- they would make an incision where it would hardl be noticed. The operation would last seven or eight hours, depending on how things went. She would be in the hospital for a few days, then recover at home for about eight weeks . No driving during that time.
Those were just the basics. A lot to take in and digest. I went home and prayed. Even though Brem sounded pretty positive I was the ultimate worrier.
Holly rarely cried. She did get misty-eyed at the movies when we watched a good tear-jerker about dogs or a love story. I can only remember her crying once before the surgery, when she saw me crying. So I would head for the bathroom when I felt sad, thinking about life without her now.
She was always learning, always interested in information, and the brain tumor was no different. She looked up everything she could on the internet about her type of tumor, everything about the upcoming surgery. Me, I would rather not know and deal with it when it happens ,but Holly wanted to be prepared, for better or for worse.
There were six of us in the car as we left my house for Philadelphia on the morning of July 21st. It was still dark but there was a hint of the coming dawn on the horizon. More of Holly's family would meet us in the waiting room at Penn. We had to be there early for prep as surgery was scheduled for 8 o"clock sharp.
We stayed with Holly for as long as we could. I held her hand through the side-rails of the stretcher. She was already hooked up to IV's and machines. Both Dr. Brem, his assistant and the rest of the team popped by. Just like that she was gone and the long wait began.
I chatted with Holly's family, who by now were like my own family. I'm glad they liked me, even after they found out how we originally met. I'm glad they gave me a chance as well. I had a history of disapproving families.
We read newspapers and books, worked on a laptop, napped and mostly watched the clock while sitting in the waiting room. I tried to believe my own words: "You'll be OK..."
Almost seven hours later we met briefly with Dr. Brem, who brought us the good news that the surgery went well. They removed the tumor and the prognosis was good. Most importantly it was not cancer.
Soon we met Holly in Recovery. She was wide awake and alert, far more awake than any of us expected, her head wrapped with bandages. We were amazed how well she looked and sounded, considering that she just went through major brain surgery.
She mentioned something about "needing to take the car down the expressway" so we knew she was still a little woozy. I was wearing a Brian Dawkins midnight green # 20 Eagles jersey, which was brought up in the conversation somehow and Holly laid her head back and sighed "God, I hate football!"
Her family thought she was still loopy until I said, "No, she's right. She really does hate football!" That made me feel better.
They would take her to a regular room soon. Before we departed the hospital to let her rest she said "I'll call you tonight at seven."
"No you won't!" I replied. "You just had brain surgery. You need to rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow, if you're up to it."
Damned if she didn't call, right at seven, my new cell phone ringing. We talked briefly. She sounded good but understandably tired. What a long day. Yet she still had me on her mind to call at our usual time.
Holly was quite a girl.
MY LIFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-67
We started seeing each other every weekend. Then it was weekends and Wednesdays. Then almost every day. It was the closest I had ever come to having a "normal" relationship. Holly would drive over around noon, stay for a few hours, go back and take care of her horses, then come back for the evening before heading back to her farm around midnight.
I continued to call her every night when we weren't together. Plus during lunch at work. When the red light was lit on my desk as I got to work in the morning I knew she had left me a message overnight. It was so nice knowing someone cared.
We spent most of our time at my house but if we wanted a real relationship long-term we had to go out sometime. To dinner, movies, shopping, or to her place. There was a hitch, however, one I failed to mention:
I couldn't get in her SUV.
I was used to sliding into the front seat of a regular four-door car, using my transfer board. Getting into her high SUV would be like climbing Mount Everest.
But I wasn't going to let this be a deal-breaker. As tough as it may be I was never more determined than to get in that damn SUV.
Our first date away from home was going to be a special one: my childhood buddy Bobby Rydell was singing at a local restaurant/ballroom and we got tickets to go. It would be the first time seeing Bobby in over 50 years.
Holly was all dressed up, wearing a white blouse and black slacks. She looked gorgeous. Now came the mountain climbing.
Parking in my driveway I lined up my wheelchair to the van. The transfer board was at an uphill angle. I tried again and again to slide uphill, using all the upper body strength i had. I remembered the fall when I fractured my femur. I wasn't going to let fear win this time.
After a few tries, almost getting into the front seat and sliding back to my wheelchair, I mustered one final push and made it! I was never so tired but never so happy.
Soon it got easier to get in and out of her van. Getting out was much better, almost like sliding down a chute at a water park, tumbling into my chair.
I loved Holly for her patience. She didn't need this hassle. But she didn't seem to mind and handled the wheelchair too. Silently I still blamed myself for not learning how to drive so long ago.
Holly loved that van. She saw what a challenge it was for me every time we went out. She didn't have to do it but soon she traded in the SUV for a white , conventional vehicle. That was a big move for her, but she claimed she "didn't need the van any longer."
Back to Bobby Rydell. We had a nice dinner, Italian was our favorite, and Rydell sang for about an hour. He did all of his hits, the same songs I remember from America Bandstand on TV, the same songs we sang together as I sat on his lap in his dressing room at the Atlantic City Steel Pier when I was only four-and -a-half years old, and the same songs I used to sing for the nuns on Sunday afternoons.
I brought along scrapbooks and pictures of our meeting back in 1960, hoping to reunite after so many years, but Bobby was sick. He made the performance, the trouper he was, but he got out of a sick bed to do it, he told the crowd. He sang great, still with a clear voice for 75, but he left immediately after the show.
Someday we would meet again.
So we started going places. Holly needed to catch-up too. She traveled quite a bit when her late husband was healthy. In fact they explored Yellowstone National Park and much of the West, a favorite spot for Holly. Then Bob got sick and they didn't travel as much during his he battle with cancer.
Our excursions were mostly day-trips. Now that it was spring the weekends were ours to have fun, and new worlds opened to me. Shopping at the mall, strolling the boardwalk at the Jersey Shore, checking out the beautiful flowers at Longwood Gardens, We saw a lot of movies together- she liked Westerns, Star Wars and romantic chick-flicks; I liked sports films, documentaries and movies about dogs. We compromised and I would catch myself trying not to fall asleep during her Hallmark movies. My snoring gave it away.
She loved country music and my musical tastes broadened, as we went to local country festivals and I savored the new delights of great artists such as Alabama and Willie Nelson. I taught her Baseball. We went to a Phillies game together and she knew the names of all the players. We even watched on TV at home. Holly wasn't as keen on football, although she tolerated my Eagles games the following fall.
The first time I visited her horse farm was magical. What a cool place it was! She had three older horses, nearing 30-years-old each, who she took care of. They grazed in her pasture all day. She had a few barn cats, Zip her Schnauzer dog, and various wild animals who lived on the property. It was close to Pottstown yet was isolated, with a lovely flowing stream running just outside her door, with all sorts of trees growing on her several acres of land. And of course, flowers everywhere.
She made her house more accessible to me. It was nice spending time at her farmhouse, like another world, and she made me dinner there often.
Speaking of flowers, Holly changed my world so much, she literally brought life back to my existence.After Mom died the house looked pretty dreary and gloomy. Everything outside seemed brown, dry and dead. I had a few trees cut down out front, trees that were too close to the house and presented a threat during bad weather.. The last thing I needed was a tall tree crashing on the roof during a violent thunderstorm. That was fine but it left the area looking barren.
Holly suggested flowers to dress up the house and front lawn. I started getting into flowers and plants so much we soon had flower boxes and baskets hanging from the front porch railings. We planted small evergreen trees. We added nice touches such as bird feeders and bird baths. Even the inside we started adding green plants and white, lacy curtains. Life and color were returning to Dianna Drive.
I finally purchased a cell phone. I was always old school about electronics and technology, mostly due to my ffear of all the new gadgets on the market. Holly encouraged me to toss the land line and go with a cell. Admittedly it was much easier to use. I didn't want a phone that could do a thousand different things. I wanted a phone that was easy to use and could actually have conversations on. Texting was yet another new world. I didn't start to turn geeky yet, but close.
There were so many special times now with Holly. Like dancing in the kitchen when we asked Alexa to play Hank Williams' "Hey, Good-Lookin', Whatcha Got Cookin'?" as she made breakfast. Remember how I said I hated weddings because i couldn't dance? Holly taught me that I could still "dance" in my chair.
I still sent her a card every day without fail. She surprised me with unexpected gifts. An Easter basket in the spring; a surprise birthday party in November; Christmas was fun again with decorations and real Christmas trees; and since we found each other on the 27th we shared little anniversary remembrances on the 27th of every month.
It was a relationship I always dreamed of but never had. And here I was, approaching 60. I was sure Mom wouldv'e loved Holly. I was even more convinced that Mom, up there in Heaven, somehow had a hand in helping me find her. She always wanted me to "find a nice girl."
We visited her gravesite together on Mom's birthday, April 11th Flowers for Mom, Dad next to her. I made sure his American flag was still at his grave, My Uncle Henry and Aunt Sue buried down the next row. So many memories of a time gone by. Holly with me, softly saying "I wish I couldv'e met them", a new door opening.
After several months I finally met Holly's two sisters and their husbands at a local restaurant. They were very nice and we soon grew to be family. I think it helped when I brought them all gift bags of goodies I knew they would llove. More brownie points!
Bud loved Holly, which was important to me, and we took him to nearby Valley Forge Park when we could. We shared picnics and simple times together. I missed her so much when she went to places like the Grand Canyon with her sister or an all-sister getaway to Cape May, New Jersey. We kept in touch via the new wonder of texting. It made me appreciate her even more when she came home.
I was happy she had such a close relationship with her sisters. I wished my siblings were just as close to me.
Holly learned more about my disability and shared the stares, the inaccessible places we would run into now and then, the limited parking spots at different locations. She soon became an even bigger advocate than I was on Disability Rights, as her awareness grew. She was not only my friend, my love and my companion, she was my champion too. I could easily see us spending the next twenty or thirty years together, our "golden years." We both deserved to be happy.
Then her phone call one June afternoon almost changed everything.
I continued to call her every night when we weren't together. Plus during lunch at work. When the red light was lit on my desk as I got to work in the morning I knew she had left me a message overnight. It was so nice knowing someone cared.
We spent most of our time at my house but if we wanted a real relationship long-term we had to go out sometime. To dinner, movies, shopping, or to her place. There was a hitch, however, one I failed to mention:
I couldn't get in her SUV.
I was used to sliding into the front seat of a regular four-door car, using my transfer board. Getting into her high SUV would be like climbing Mount Everest.
But I wasn't going to let this be a deal-breaker. As tough as it may be I was never more determined than to get in that damn SUV.
Our first date away from home was going to be a special one: my childhood buddy Bobby Rydell was singing at a local restaurant/ballroom and we got tickets to go. It would be the first time seeing Bobby in over 50 years.
Holly was all dressed up, wearing a white blouse and black slacks. She looked gorgeous. Now came the mountain climbing.
Parking in my driveway I lined up my wheelchair to the van. The transfer board was at an uphill angle. I tried again and again to slide uphill, using all the upper body strength i had. I remembered the fall when I fractured my femur. I wasn't going to let fear win this time.
After a few tries, almost getting into the front seat and sliding back to my wheelchair, I mustered one final push and made it! I was never so tired but never so happy.
Soon it got easier to get in and out of her van. Getting out was much better, almost like sliding down a chute at a water park, tumbling into my chair.
I loved Holly for her patience. She didn't need this hassle. But she didn't seem to mind and handled the wheelchair too. Silently I still blamed myself for not learning how to drive so long ago.
Holly loved that van. She saw what a challenge it was for me every time we went out. She didn't have to do it but soon she traded in the SUV for a white , conventional vehicle. That was a big move for her, but she claimed she "didn't need the van any longer."
Back to Bobby Rydell. We had a nice dinner, Italian was our favorite, and Rydell sang for about an hour. He did all of his hits, the same songs I remember from America Bandstand on TV, the same songs we sang together as I sat on his lap in his dressing room at the Atlantic City Steel Pier when I was only four-and -a-half years old, and the same songs I used to sing for the nuns on Sunday afternoons.
I brought along scrapbooks and pictures of our meeting back in 1960, hoping to reunite after so many years, but Bobby was sick. He made the performance, the trouper he was, but he got out of a sick bed to do it, he told the crowd. He sang great, still with a clear voice for 75, but he left immediately after the show.
Someday we would meet again.
So we started going places. Holly needed to catch-up too. She traveled quite a bit when her late husband was healthy. In fact they explored Yellowstone National Park and much of the West, a favorite spot for Holly. Then Bob got sick and they didn't travel as much during his he battle with cancer.
Our excursions were mostly day-trips. Now that it was spring the weekends were ours to have fun, and new worlds opened to me. Shopping at the mall, strolling the boardwalk at the Jersey Shore, checking out the beautiful flowers at Longwood Gardens, We saw a lot of movies together- she liked Westerns, Star Wars and romantic chick-flicks; I liked sports films, documentaries and movies about dogs. We compromised and I would catch myself trying not to fall asleep during her Hallmark movies. My snoring gave it away.
She loved country music and my musical tastes broadened, as we went to local country festivals and I savored the new delights of great artists such as Alabama and Willie Nelson. I taught her Baseball. We went to a Phillies game together and she knew the names of all the players. We even watched on TV at home. Holly wasn't as keen on football, although she tolerated my Eagles games the following fall.
The first time I visited her horse farm was magical. What a cool place it was! She had three older horses, nearing 30-years-old each, who she took care of. They grazed in her pasture all day. She had a few barn cats, Zip her Schnauzer dog, and various wild animals who lived on the property. It was close to Pottstown yet was isolated, with a lovely flowing stream running just outside her door, with all sorts of trees growing on her several acres of land. And of course, flowers everywhere.
She made her house more accessible to me. It was nice spending time at her farmhouse, like another world, and she made me dinner there often.
Speaking of flowers, Holly changed my world so much, she literally brought life back to my existence.After Mom died the house looked pretty dreary and gloomy. Everything outside seemed brown, dry and dead. I had a few trees cut down out front, trees that were too close to the house and presented a threat during bad weather.. The last thing I needed was a tall tree crashing on the roof during a violent thunderstorm. That was fine but it left the area looking barren.
Holly suggested flowers to dress up the house and front lawn. I started getting into flowers and plants so much we soon had flower boxes and baskets hanging from the front porch railings. We planted small evergreen trees. We added nice touches such as bird feeders and bird baths. Even the inside we started adding green plants and white, lacy curtains. Life and color were returning to Dianna Drive.
I finally purchased a cell phone. I was always old school about electronics and technology, mostly due to my ffear of all the new gadgets on the market. Holly encouraged me to toss the land line and go with a cell. Admittedly it was much easier to use. I didn't want a phone that could do a thousand different things. I wanted a phone that was easy to use and could actually have conversations on. Texting was yet another new world. I didn't start to turn geeky yet, but close.
There were so many special times now with Holly. Like dancing in the kitchen when we asked Alexa to play Hank Williams' "Hey, Good-Lookin', Whatcha Got Cookin'?" as she made breakfast. Remember how I said I hated weddings because i couldn't dance? Holly taught me that I could still "dance" in my chair.
I still sent her a card every day without fail. She surprised me with unexpected gifts. An Easter basket in the spring; a surprise birthday party in November; Christmas was fun again with decorations and real Christmas trees; and since we found each other on the 27th we shared little anniversary remembrances on the 27th of every month.
It was a relationship I always dreamed of but never had. And here I was, approaching 60. I was sure Mom wouldv'e loved Holly. I was even more convinced that Mom, up there in Heaven, somehow had a hand in helping me find her. She always wanted me to "find a nice girl."
We visited her gravesite together on Mom's birthday, April 11th Flowers for Mom, Dad next to her. I made sure his American flag was still at his grave, My Uncle Henry and Aunt Sue buried down the next row. So many memories of a time gone by. Holly with me, softly saying "I wish I couldv'e met them", a new door opening.
After several months I finally met Holly's two sisters and their husbands at a local restaurant. They were very nice and we soon grew to be family. I think it helped when I brought them all gift bags of goodies I knew they would llove. More brownie points!
Bud loved Holly, which was important to me, and we took him to nearby Valley Forge Park when we could. We shared picnics and simple times together. I missed her so much when she went to places like the Grand Canyon with her sister or an all-sister getaway to Cape May, New Jersey. We kept in touch via the new wonder of texting. It made me appreciate her even more when she came home.
I was happy she had such a close relationship with her sisters. I wished my siblings were just as close to me.
Holly learned more about my disability and shared the stares, the inaccessible places we would run into now and then, the limited parking spots at different locations. She soon became an even bigger advocate than I was on Disability Rights, as her awareness grew. She was not only my friend, my love and my companion, she was my champion too. I could easily see us spending the next twenty or thirty years together, our "golden years." We both deserved to be happy.
Then her phone call one June afternoon almost changed everything.
Thursday, June 13, 2019
MY LIFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-66
Saturday- Valentine's Day- finally arrived. I was nervous about meeting Holly in person for the first time but also had a good feeling. After all the emails and phone chats we had the last few weeks I really thought she was a sweet person. I didn't expect her to instantly fall in love with me. Frankly, I wasn't sure what to expect. Continuing our friendship would be a good start.
I was prepared. Like my usual romantic self I spent the last week gathering Valentine gifts. I didn't want to come on too strong so I kept the gifts fun: a sweet Valentine's card, letting her know how I feel yet not too psycho; candy ( the Gift Shop at the Center was one-stop shopping); a stuffed teddy bear, and a DVD copy of the movie "Marty," starring Ernest Borgnine, the film we planned to watch together after our pizza.
I always loved that movie. It was made in 1955, the year before I was born. Black and white, a very simple story of a lonely butcher from the Bronx looking for love. Borgnine won an Oscar for his performance. I could relate to the story, especially when Marty laments to his mother "Ma, I'm nothing but a fat, ugly man, a fat ugly man!"
It had laughs in it too, along with the drama and lamenting so I hoped it was a good film to watch on a first date.
It was cold outside but it didn't snow as we feared it might. Holly knocked on my front door and Bud and I greeted her. She looked like a doll, all bundled up in her white winter jacket, bunches of blond curls flowing down her back.
She was very friendly and there was no indication of disappointment or surprise. She was just the sweet Holly I was growing to know.
She wore a red blouse for the occasion and jeans. She smelled great too. I was swooning but tried hard not to let it show.
Bud eyed her suspiciously but didn't growl or bark. A good sign. He liked every woman he saw, anyway.
I thanked her for agreeing to meet me at my house. It was not a good idea. Better to meet in a public place the first time. I offered to wheel out to the driveway to prove I was who I was, but she declined the offer. She understood my situation and took a chance to meet me at home. Still, she did the wise thing and gave her youngest sister ( the one not in Mexico) her number, my address, and promised to call her when she arrived and saw that everything was on the up-and-up.
So maybe her first reaction upon seeing me was relief? So far, I was honest, not that everyone would use a disability as an excuse to meet at a private home, but you never know. Better safe than sorry.
The pizza arrived and we ate in the kitchen, while Bud begged for scrapes as always. The talk was light-hearted , pretty much the same as it was on the phone.I invited her into my bedroom to watch the movie, only because I didn't have a DVD player in the living room hooked up to our ancient TV ( it was the kind that had tubes in the back).
Wait a minute! First he wants to meet at his house, then he invites me into his bedroom on the first date? What the hell? she had to be thinking.
I gave Holly my Valentine gift bag full of goodies. She knew I couldn't gift wrap worth a damn ( a major flaw in my character) so the candy, the bear, the DVD and the card were all stuffed in the decorative bag. She was impressed.
We watched the movie, barely touching each other, as we sat on my bed. She seemed to like "Marty' but hardly said a word. I knew the wheels were turning.
Two hours flew by and it was time to go. We both thought meeting for few hours would be a good start.
Before she left my room she said she had something to tell me. Was I the irresistible, hopelessly romantic guy she had always dreamed of and was ready to spend the rest of her life with me?
Not quite.
She politely said that everything was nice, she thanked me for all the Valentine presents ( she sweetly brought me stuff too, including making homemade brownies, which she knew I loved) but..she didn't think it would would out.
It had nothing to do with my disability. It was her. She just wasn't ready for this dating world yet. Yes, she applied to a dating site but...maybe it was too soon after all.
I lookedinto t her blue eyes and said "I understand," which was another lie. I really didn't understand. But I put two and two together. At least she was honest. She didn't run away as others had, or didn't break my heart on the phone or in a letter, as others had.
Bud had grown fond of Holly, especially after she offered him a piece of pizza crust ( the way to Bud's heart was always through his stomach), so he followed her out to the living room. She gave me a hug, said she was sorry, smiled and waved . I followed her outside to the front porch, without a jacket, my heart deflated.
I waved back when she got into her black SUV and pulled away. I watched her taillights flicker in the dusk and was sure I would never see her again. She was so nice too. I felt she was "the one'. Mom would've liked her.
No more heartache. I'm done with love.
I opened the front door to wheel inside and out shoots Bud like a brown bolt of lightning. He obviously was looking for Holly- and for more pizza.
I yelled "Bud! Get back here!" as I watched him scamper up the street ( wrong direction, Bud- Holly went down the street). I was in a panic. How do I get him back in? It was getting dark, there were no neighbors outside, the February chill was growing colder, and I was up shit-creek.
I didn't know what else to do, so I wheeled back inside, leaving the front door open in case Bud decided to do me a favor and walk back in. I sped down the hall to my land line and called Holly on her cell. She wasn' far and I hoped she would pick up.
"Greg? she answered. "What's wrong?"
"Bud got out. He may be headed back to Alabama. Can you please come back and help me?"
"Sure,"she said. "I'm just around the corner. Be there in a second."
I waited on the porch for Holly. Bud was a distant speck up the street, as he checked out every bush and tree he could find. She pulled in the driveway, quickly got out of the car and asked,"Where did he go?" I pointed up the street and she ran after him, yelling, "Here Bud! Pizza!"
The pooch saw Holly, saw she didn't have pizza, ran by her, and raced back into the house.
"Thanks," I sighed. "I don't know what I would've done without you."
"No problem," she laughed. "Get in the house! It's chilly out here!"
I closed the door behind me and watched her pull away again. I would miss talking to her every night at seven o"clock. I turned around and there was Bud, crying for his "pa-poo" ( that's what my Mom always called breakfast, lunch and dinner when she fed Louie. I think it was Slovak).
I was down in the dumps, even more so on that Saturday night. I vowed to never touch my computer again..at least until tomorrow.
Sunday was typically slow. I tried to keep busy. Football season was over, another bummer. Seven o 'clock came and went. I watched TV for a while, shut it off and went to bed.
I stayed awake for hours.
It was nine o'clock and I said to myself, "This may be really stupid," as I picked up the phone and dialed Holly. It was strange calling her at night instead of the other way around.
"Hi," I began when she answered. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to bug you. I'm really not a stalker. I just miss you. I know you said it won't work but there is no reason why we can't be friends..."
I didn't want to come off as being desperate or lonely or needy. But I was. Bud's great escape may have hurt any slim chances that I had to keep Holly in my life. How could I have a girlfriend when I couldn' even manage my own dog? I was a fool to make this call.
It turned out that Holly missed me too. She spent her Sunday thinking and brooding. She missed our seven o"clock nightly date. She didn't want to try and find someone new on the dating site. Having the courage to make the call earned me more brownie points.
Being friends was a good start. She said she was "still thinking". Nothing was set in stone and she needed time.
I wanted to call her during my lunch break at work the next day but hesitated. I would give her the space she needed.
My old land line rang at exactly seven o"clock on Monday night. Friends would be a good way to start. We were together ever since.
I was prepared. Like my usual romantic self I spent the last week gathering Valentine gifts. I didn't want to come on too strong so I kept the gifts fun: a sweet Valentine's card, letting her know how I feel yet not too psycho; candy ( the Gift Shop at the Center was one-stop shopping); a stuffed teddy bear, and a DVD copy of the movie "Marty," starring Ernest Borgnine, the film we planned to watch together after our pizza.
I always loved that movie. It was made in 1955, the year before I was born. Black and white, a very simple story of a lonely butcher from the Bronx looking for love. Borgnine won an Oscar for his performance. I could relate to the story, especially when Marty laments to his mother "Ma, I'm nothing but a fat, ugly man, a fat ugly man!"
It had laughs in it too, along with the drama and lamenting so I hoped it was a good film to watch on a first date.
It was cold outside but it didn't snow as we feared it might. Holly knocked on my front door and Bud and I greeted her. She looked like a doll, all bundled up in her white winter jacket, bunches of blond curls flowing down her back.
She was very friendly and there was no indication of disappointment or surprise. She was just the sweet Holly I was growing to know.
She wore a red blouse for the occasion and jeans. She smelled great too. I was swooning but tried hard not to let it show.
Bud eyed her suspiciously but didn't growl or bark. A good sign. He liked every woman he saw, anyway.
I thanked her for agreeing to meet me at my house. It was not a good idea. Better to meet in a public place the first time. I offered to wheel out to the driveway to prove I was who I was, but she declined the offer. She understood my situation and took a chance to meet me at home. Still, she did the wise thing and gave her youngest sister ( the one not in Mexico) her number, my address, and promised to call her when she arrived and saw that everything was on the up-and-up.
So maybe her first reaction upon seeing me was relief? So far, I was honest, not that everyone would use a disability as an excuse to meet at a private home, but you never know. Better safe than sorry.
The pizza arrived and we ate in the kitchen, while Bud begged for scrapes as always. The talk was light-hearted , pretty much the same as it was on the phone.I invited her into my bedroom to watch the movie, only because I didn't have a DVD player in the living room hooked up to our ancient TV ( it was the kind that had tubes in the back).
Wait a minute! First he wants to meet at his house, then he invites me into his bedroom on the first date? What the hell? she had to be thinking.
I gave Holly my Valentine gift bag full of goodies. She knew I couldn't gift wrap worth a damn ( a major flaw in my character) so the candy, the bear, the DVD and the card were all stuffed in the decorative bag. She was impressed.
We watched the movie, barely touching each other, as we sat on my bed. She seemed to like "Marty' but hardly said a word. I knew the wheels were turning.
Two hours flew by and it was time to go. We both thought meeting for few hours would be a good start.
Before she left my room she said she had something to tell me. Was I the irresistible, hopelessly romantic guy she had always dreamed of and was ready to spend the rest of her life with me?
Not quite.
She politely said that everything was nice, she thanked me for all the Valentine presents ( she sweetly brought me stuff too, including making homemade brownies, which she knew I loved) but..she didn't think it would would out.
It had nothing to do with my disability. It was her. She just wasn't ready for this dating world yet. Yes, she applied to a dating site but...maybe it was too soon after all.
I lookedinto t her blue eyes and said "I understand," which was another lie. I really didn't understand. But I put two and two together. At least she was honest. She didn't run away as others had, or didn't break my heart on the phone or in a letter, as others had.
Bud had grown fond of Holly, especially after she offered him a piece of pizza crust ( the way to Bud's heart was always through his stomach), so he followed her out to the living room. She gave me a hug, said she was sorry, smiled and waved . I followed her outside to the front porch, without a jacket, my heart deflated.
I waved back when she got into her black SUV and pulled away. I watched her taillights flicker in the dusk and was sure I would never see her again. She was so nice too. I felt she was "the one'. Mom would've liked her.
No more heartache. I'm done with love.
I opened the front door to wheel inside and out shoots Bud like a brown bolt of lightning. He obviously was looking for Holly- and for more pizza.
I yelled "Bud! Get back here!" as I watched him scamper up the street ( wrong direction, Bud- Holly went down the street). I was in a panic. How do I get him back in? It was getting dark, there were no neighbors outside, the February chill was growing colder, and I was up shit-creek.
I didn't know what else to do, so I wheeled back inside, leaving the front door open in case Bud decided to do me a favor and walk back in. I sped down the hall to my land line and called Holly on her cell. She wasn' far and I hoped she would pick up.
"Greg? she answered. "What's wrong?"
"Bud got out. He may be headed back to Alabama. Can you please come back and help me?"
"Sure,"she said. "I'm just around the corner. Be there in a second."
I waited on the porch for Holly. Bud was a distant speck up the street, as he checked out every bush and tree he could find. She pulled in the driveway, quickly got out of the car and asked,"Where did he go?" I pointed up the street and she ran after him, yelling, "Here Bud! Pizza!"
The pooch saw Holly, saw she didn't have pizza, ran by her, and raced back into the house.
"Thanks," I sighed. "I don't know what I would've done without you."
"No problem," she laughed. "Get in the house! It's chilly out here!"
I closed the door behind me and watched her pull away again. I would miss talking to her every night at seven o"clock. I turned around and there was Bud, crying for his "pa-poo" ( that's what my Mom always called breakfast, lunch and dinner when she fed Louie. I think it was Slovak).
I was down in the dumps, even more so on that Saturday night. I vowed to never touch my computer again..at least until tomorrow.
Sunday was typically slow. I tried to keep busy. Football season was over, another bummer. Seven o 'clock came and went. I watched TV for a while, shut it off and went to bed.
I stayed awake for hours.
It was nine o'clock and I said to myself, "This may be really stupid," as I picked up the phone and dialed Holly. It was strange calling her at night instead of the other way around.
"Hi," I began when she answered. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to bug you. I'm really not a stalker. I just miss you. I know you said it won't work but there is no reason why we can't be friends..."
I didn't want to come off as being desperate or lonely or needy. But I was. Bud's great escape may have hurt any slim chances that I had to keep Holly in my life. How could I have a girlfriend when I couldn' even manage my own dog? I was a fool to make this call.
It turned out that Holly missed me too. She spent her Sunday thinking and brooding. She missed our seven o"clock nightly date. She didn't want to try and find someone new on the dating site. Having the courage to make the call earned me more brownie points.
Being friends was a good start. She said she was "still thinking". Nothing was set in stone and she needed time.
I wanted to call her during my lunch break at work the next day but hesitated. I would give her the space she needed.
My old land line rang at exactly seven o"clock on Monday night. Friends would be a good way to start. We were together ever since.
PHILLY SPORTS CORNER- PHILLIES, NHL
- The Phillies dropped out of first place yesterday when they lost to Arizona 2-0. The Diamondbacks took 2 of 3 in the series and now have won their last 11 games of 13 at Citizens Bank Park.
Manager Gabe Kapler seemingly gave the game away when he gave Bryce Harper the night off. Harper did pinch-hit with the bases empty in the 8th inning. Harper did not ask for a day off. Kapler decided to give him two days off in a row so Harper would be "crisper' for the big upcoming series vs Atlanta and Washington on the road.
The team looked flat Wednesday night against a 30-year-old rookie pitcher. The offense only managed to generate three hits the entire night, two of them by Nick Williams. who has lost a place on the club. The Phillies need to stop with the experiment and moved the hot Scott Kingery to the lead-off spot. Cesar Hernandez is in a terrible slump yet he is still batting first. Make sense?
Kingery has been playing center field after Andrew McCuthen was injured for the year. Kingery has done a fine job but he should be at second base, his natural position. The Phils gave him a huge contract yet have been jerking him around. He is coming into his own at the plate and deserves to be stable in the field.
Meanwhile, Hernandez, always inconsistent at the plate, on the base paths and in the field, should be traded for pitching while his value is high. At the very least he should not be batting lead-off.
Maikel Franco also continues to struggle. It's about time the Phillies cut the cord on Franco and deal him. hey made a big mistake by not signing Mike Moustakas last off-season to play third base. "The Moose" is having a good year for Milwaukee. 2018's first round pick Alex Bohm should be fast-tracked to Philly.
The loss wasted a great effort by starter Zach Eflin, who went eight solid innings and is now 6-6. Eflin strikeout 9 and only gave up two runs. He deserved a better fate.
The team is off today and begins a gigantic weekend series with the NL East division-leading Braves Friday night. Pivetta and Nola pitch the first two games of the weekend series in Atlanta.
- Great to see the St. Louis Blues win their first Stanley Cup last nigh tin Boston, defeating the bruins 4-1 in Game 7. The Blues, last in the entire National Hockey League in early January, went on an 11-game winning streak, caught fire and went all the way.
Nice to see a Boston team didn't win a championship again. So far since the year 2000, Boston clubs have won a total of 13 championships, between the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics and Bruins.
The Flyers have now gone 44 years with drinking from Lord Stanley's Cup.
Manager Gabe Kapler seemingly gave the game away when he gave Bryce Harper the night off. Harper did pinch-hit with the bases empty in the 8th inning. Harper did not ask for a day off. Kapler decided to give him two days off in a row so Harper would be "crisper' for the big upcoming series vs Atlanta and Washington on the road.
The team looked flat Wednesday night against a 30-year-old rookie pitcher. The offense only managed to generate three hits the entire night, two of them by Nick Williams. who has lost a place on the club. The Phillies need to stop with the experiment and moved the hot Scott Kingery to the lead-off spot. Cesar Hernandez is in a terrible slump yet he is still batting first. Make sense?
Kingery has been playing center field after Andrew McCuthen was injured for the year. Kingery has done a fine job but he should be at second base, his natural position. The Phils gave him a huge contract yet have been jerking him around. He is coming into his own at the plate and deserves to be stable in the field.
Meanwhile, Hernandez, always inconsistent at the plate, on the base paths and in the field, should be traded for pitching while his value is high. At the very least he should not be batting lead-off.
Maikel Franco also continues to struggle. It's about time the Phillies cut the cord on Franco and deal him. hey made a big mistake by not signing Mike Moustakas last off-season to play third base. "The Moose" is having a good year for Milwaukee. 2018's first round pick Alex Bohm should be fast-tracked to Philly.
The loss wasted a great effort by starter Zach Eflin, who went eight solid innings and is now 6-6. Eflin strikeout 9 and only gave up two runs. He deserved a better fate.
The team is off today and begins a gigantic weekend series with the NL East division-leading Braves Friday night. Pivetta and Nola pitch the first two games of the weekend series in Atlanta.
- Great to see the St. Louis Blues win their first Stanley Cup last nigh tin Boston, defeating the bruins 4-1 in Game 7. The Blues, last in the entire National Hockey League in early January, went on an 11-game winning streak, caught fire and went all the way.
Nice to see a Boston team didn't win a championship again. So far since the year 2000, Boston clubs have won a total of 13 championships, between the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics and Bruins.
The Flyers have now gone 44 years with drinking from Lord Stanley's Cup.
MY LIFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-65
Holly just joined the senior dating site a few days before I planned to sign off for good. We could've easily missed each other. How different life would've been!
I found her new profile one morning before work. She was everything I could hope for and more. She lived only 20 minutes away. She was a widow with no children. Short and pretty, with a friendly smile, she had Farrah Fawcett llong, curly blond hair. She looked younger than her age, which was a little older than me. She worked as an IT Specialist for a major communications company, plus she had her Real Estate license on the side. Horses were one of her passions, as were all animals, and she owned three beautiful retired horses on her small farm. She loved to cook, quilt and enjoyed movies and music.
Who could ask for more?
I wrote her the nicest introductory email I could muster at a drowsy six o'clock in the morning. I probably should've waited until I was a bit more coherent but Holly was someone I wanted to know better. Knowing the guys on these dating sites it wouldn't be long until her mailbox was full.
I let my profile do the talking . First letters are always so hard to write. I don't know what would separate me from others but I hoped for a reply.
The first thing I did when I got home that late January afternoon, even before feeding Bud ( who wasn't too happy about that) was check my email on the site. Sure enough, there was a response from Holly. I wanted to read it yet prepared myself for the usual "You sound like a nice guy but..."
It turned out Holly really liked my profile and first email. She thought I was funny and cute. Most importantly to me, she didn't seem fazed by my disability.
We exchanged emails for the rest of the week. Then I started a conversation via Instant Messenger one evening. Before you know it I offered my phone number. My excuse was that it was easier to talk than type, which really was true. My typing sucked. I also wanted to hear if this special lady sounded true. Remember what happened to me earlier in the month with the first reply I got to my profile?
Funny, I had thought then how "fast" she was to include her phone number and ask me over to her place for chicken without really knowing me- and here I was, doing the same thing.
We planned to talk on Saturday night at 7:00 p.m. Our letters all week were fun and light-hearted, nothing too serious. We both looked forward to the next letter and the next, one building on the other. We had a lot in common. Even though Holly wasn't a sports fan she was willing to learn. I really wasn't a country music fan but I was willing to listen. We compromised and grew closer.
When Holly called at exactly seven I was delighted by her cheerful voice. She was just like her emails- fun, bubbly and smart. I was dazzled. So much so that our planned short chat turned into a five hour marathon.
We talked about our past- her husband had died not too long ago and, because she was lonely and one of her sisters was vacationing in Mexico, she decided to take a chance as well. She had two sisters and even though Holly was the oldest they were very protective of her. Neither knew she was on the senior dating site.
As I expected, Holly's inbox was crammed with mail. Everyday she got more and more replies Most of the guys wanted to meet her right away, understandably so. One demanded a "full-length body shot" before he would continue to correspond. Some were nice, some were rude and crude, some were goofy, and some were boring. Some were too far away, as she was looking local too. Some were way too young for her ( under 50) and some were from women. She found my original email and profile refreshingly "normal."
Me, "normal?"
I told her about Bud and my life. I was honest and answered anything about my disability she wanted to know. I made sure I thanked her for giving me a chance. Of course, I had not met her yet to see if it really did matter. I had been down that road too may times before where someone says "It's no problem" then they meet and it's "See you later."
The five hours flew by, so much so that we agreed to talk again the following night at the pre-determined time of seven once again. I hung up and couldn't wait.
I forgot. The next day was the Super Bowl. I always watched the Super Bowl every year. New England vs. Seattle. I was the kind of intense sports guy that I couldn't do two things at once, like watch the game and talk on the phone at the same time. Not if I really wanted to get into the game.
But there was absolutely no thought of sending her a"let's reschedule" email. I wanted to talk to her more.
Talk we did, another great conversation until 11:00 when we reluctantly said our goodbyes because of work the following morning. Somehow the subject of the Super Bowl came up and she figured out I had missed the big game for our chat. I scored huge brownie points right there.
Holly gave me her number and I started calling her during my lunch break. She worked at home so it was easy. She began leaving messages on my voice mail at my work desk, plus every night at seven swe talked for several hours. It was heaven to find someone who really seemed to care. Finally.
I decided to sign off the dating site. I wasn't going to pay for February. I found someone special. Holly continued on the site because she was only a week into her membership. She was still getting tons of mail but, other than responding to an 88-year-old guy looking for "friendship" she decided she had found someone special too.
We didn't talk about meeting yet. The following weekend Holly drove right by my house on her way to King Of Prussia. She was going to surprise me with a quick visit but chickened-out. I'm not sure what I was doing that Saturday afternoon. Probably not much, as usual on my weekends. That's fine, I told her. When the time is right we will meet. Right now let's just take our time and get to know each other.
That was a lie. I wanted to meet her badly but didn't want to sound like the rest of the vultures contacted her. I tried to play it cool but wasn't very good at it. I know she wanted to see if I was "real" or not. What if I just said I use a wheelchair, for whatever bazaar reason? Before she invested more time it made sense to know for sure.
We agreed to meet the following Saturday, which happened to be Valentine's Day. What a perfect day to meet that someone special!
I found her new profile one morning before work. She was everything I could hope for and more. She lived only 20 minutes away. She was a widow with no children. Short and pretty, with a friendly smile, she had Farrah Fawcett llong, curly blond hair. She looked younger than her age, which was a little older than me. She worked as an IT Specialist for a major communications company, plus she had her Real Estate license on the side. Horses were one of her passions, as were all animals, and she owned three beautiful retired horses on her small farm. She loved to cook, quilt and enjoyed movies and music.
Who could ask for more?
I wrote her the nicest introductory email I could muster at a drowsy six o'clock in the morning. I probably should've waited until I was a bit more coherent but Holly was someone I wanted to know better. Knowing the guys on these dating sites it wouldn't be long until her mailbox was full.
I let my profile do the talking . First letters are always so hard to write. I don't know what would separate me from others but I hoped for a reply.
The first thing I did when I got home that late January afternoon, even before feeding Bud ( who wasn't too happy about that) was check my email on the site. Sure enough, there was a response from Holly. I wanted to read it yet prepared myself for the usual "You sound like a nice guy but..."
It turned out Holly really liked my profile and first email. She thought I was funny and cute. Most importantly to me, she didn't seem fazed by my disability.
We exchanged emails for the rest of the week. Then I started a conversation via Instant Messenger one evening. Before you know it I offered my phone number. My excuse was that it was easier to talk than type, which really was true. My typing sucked. I also wanted to hear if this special lady sounded true. Remember what happened to me earlier in the month with the first reply I got to my profile?
Funny, I had thought then how "fast" she was to include her phone number and ask me over to her place for chicken without really knowing me- and here I was, doing the same thing.
We planned to talk on Saturday night at 7:00 p.m. Our letters all week were fun and light-hearted, nothing too serious. We both looked forward to the next letter and the next, one building on the other. We had a lot in common. Even though Holly wasn't a sports fan she was willing to learn. I really wasn't a country music fan but I was willing to listen. We compromised and grew closer.
When Holly called at exactly seven I was delighted by her cheerful voice. She was just like her emails- fun, bubbly and smart. I was dazzled. So much so that our planned short chat turned into a five hour marathon.
We talked about our past- her husband had died not too long ago and, because she was lonely and one of her sisters was vacationing in Mexico, she decided to take a chance as well. She had two sisters and even though Holly was the oldest they were very protective of her. Neither knew she was on the senior dating site.
As I expected, Holly's inbox was crammed with mail. Everyday she got more and more replies Most of the guys wanted to meet her right away, understandably so. One demanded a "full-length body shot" before he would continue to correspond. Some were nice, some were rude and crude, some were goofy, and some were boring. Some were too far away, as she was looking local too. Some were way too young for her ( under 50) and some were from women. She found my original email and profile refreshingly "normal."
Me, "normal?"
I told her about Bud and my life. I was honest and answered anything about my disability she wanted to know. I made sure I thanked her for giving me a chance. Of course, I had not met her yet to see if it really did matter. I had been down that road too may times before where someone says "It's no problem" then they meet and it's "See you later."
The five hours flew by, so much so that we agreed to talk again the following night at the pre-determined time of seven once again. I hung up and couldn't wait.
I forgot. The next day was the Super Bowl. I always watched the Super Bowl every year. New England vs. Seattle. I was the kind of intense sports guy that I couldn't do two things at once, like watch the game and talk on the phone at the same time. Not if I really wanted to get into the game.
But there was absolutely no thought of sending her a"let's reschedule" email. I wanted to talk to her more.
Talk we did, another great conversation until 11:00 when we reluctantly said our goodbyes because of work the following morning. Somehow the subject of the Super Bowl came up and she figured out I had missed the big game for our chat. I scored huge brownie points right there.
Holly gave me her number and I started calling her during my lunch break. She worked at home so it was easy. She began leaving messages on my voice mail at my work desk, plus every night at seven swe talked for several hours. It was heaven to find someone who really seemed to care. Finally.
I decided to sign off the dating site. I wasn't going to pay for February. I found someone special. Holly continued on the site because she was only a week into her membership. She was still getting tons of mail but, other than responding to an 88-year-old guy looking for "friendship" she decided she had found someone special too.
We didn't talk about meeting yet. The following weekend Holly drove right by my house on her way to King Of Prussia. She was going to surprise me with a quick visit but chickened-out. I'm not sure what I was doing that Saturday afternoon. Probably not much, as usual on my weekends. That's fine, I told her. When the time is right we will meet. Right now let's just take our time and get to know each other.
That was a lie. I wanted to meet her badly but didn't want to sound like the rest of the vultures contacted her. I tried to play it cool but wasn't very good at it. I know she wanted to see if I was "real" or not. What if I just said I use a wheelchair, for whatever bazaar reason? Before she invested more time it made sense to know for sure.
We agreed to meet the following Saturday, which happened to be Valentine's Day. What a perfect day to meet that someone special!
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
MY IFE WITH BRITTLE BONES-64
Laurel helped me weekly with the cleaning and shopping. The Center said I didn't need to wear a tie any longer to work since I couldn't get anyone to help me in the mornings. Local Rotary club members cut my grass in the spring and summer. People heard about my needs and were nice to offer their assitance.
Well-meaning friends advised me to sell the house and move into a handicapped-accessible apartment. I wouldn't have to worry about the grass or shoveling snow in the winter.
It was a great idea, but now I had Bud. Plus home is home. As long as I could pay my taxes I wanted to stay in my parents' home for as long as I could.
Most of my family did start dropping by as the years went by. Mom would've wanted us to get along. I began going to cook-outs and special events in the clan. The topic of Mom was hardly ever brought up, which was just as well, I suppose.
It was New Year's Day of 2016 and I just got back from one of those family functions. I fed Bud and relaxed in my room, preparing for work the next day. Always a downer to go back after the holidays.
I had the Sci-Fi channel on TV, half paying attention to the Twilight Zone Marathon they were heavily into. A commercial came on about a "senior dating site," one I had never heard of before. It caught my eye and for reasons I can't explain I memorized the website address.
I had tried the computer dating scene before, even when Mom was alive. I was always honest about my disability and put a legitimate, up-to-date picture ( that really was me) on my profile. I was too naive to know that lying was a big part of those dating sites.
Needless to say I didn't get very many replies. More like none at all. Why should I put myself through such heartache? Those sites were like bars- very superficial. If you looked attractive you had a shot, that was the bottom line. Who wanted to go out with a little guy who used a wheelchair? Nobody.Or so I thought.
But once again that little voice inside told me to check it out. I never had much luck with computers. But I did find Bud, and after two years together, he continued to be a great dog and even better friend.
The site was geared to older adults. Anyone over 50 could apply. Same usual fees and rules, which no one really abides to. I checked out some of the local female profiles for free. If interested and you want to contact her, you had to sign up. That was the catch.
I had it with long distance relationships. I wanted to find a nice woman nearby, someone I could actually see once in awhile, not once a year. Someone with a car...oh yes, that driving issue was rearing it's ugly head again. Another strike against me. What woman would want to drive on a date, handle a wheelchair and use her own car each time? No one, or so I thought.
But maybe I could find a friend. Lord knows I tried. But where does one go to find someone nice? I didn't drink, so a bar, or what I called a "meat wagon" wasn't good for me. The Center allowed their employees to date, unlike the Manor. In fact there were a few married couples working there. But it seemed every time I tried to ask someone out I got chicken. I always hated rejection and didn't allow myself a chance. How would I find someone special, someone who looked into my heart and soul and not at my legs, someone who didn't care how I got around- if I didn't give them ( or myself) a chance?
The girls at work were nice and would politely say no or say they had a boyfriend or whatever the excuse. I didn't push it because I had to see them everyday. Plus there was added emphasis on the topic of Sexual Harassment at work, so I had to know when to not cross the line, even if it was something as innocent as going to a movie. Not worth losing my job over.
I dated the ( unbeknownst to me) married nurse at the Manor and that was a disaster. Better to keep work and your personal life separate. More fish in the sea, as they say, but which harbor were they in?
Bookstores and grocery stores were good places to meet. I could start going with Laurel once a week to the store but that would be sort of awkward, trying to pick up a female shopper while another woman was pushing my cart full of frozen dinners.
Church was another possibility but I'm sure Mom wouldn't have approved of that tactic, even though she always said "I wish you would find a nice girl..." But I could also hear her say, "'You go to church to pray, not to fool around."
My age was working against me too. Here I was,pushing 60. Most woman my age were grandmothers by now. I would have nothing in common with a twenty-something female. Make that thirty-something and even forty-something. God, did I feel old.
So, this senior dating thing didn't sound too bad. At least I would be in the ballpark age-wise. So, I completed a profile, added a picture ( me in a suit and tie at work, after I had won " County Employee of the Year" my first year at the Center). I rarely wore a suit in real life, only to funerals and weddings, none of which I attended very often. I was always a jeans and sweatshirt guy, preferable Phillies and Eagles gear. I hopede whomever answered me liked sports .
Actually, I didn't add many "requirements" in my profile. Beggars can't be choosers. Just someone nice. And local. And not attached. Preferably no kids. I loved children and always thought I would've made a pretty cool father but I was way beyond that. Still, what were the odds I would find someone "perfect" like that?
Having common interests was important. Being a good communicator. And of course, someone with a good personality, who likes to laugh and who has a good sense of humor, someone with a caring, kind heart .Oh, and she must like dogs. Bud made sure I put that part in.
Me? I was honest, a hopeless romantic, funny, likes sports, music and movies.I left out the "don't drive" part for now. Why push it?
I posted the profile and waited.
I checked my profile each day for the next week. Many ladies viewed my information. Like sharks circling fresh bait. No one responded. I wasn't surprised. My confidence sank.
Then, out of the blue, someone did respond! It was a girl about 15 minutes away. She claimed she was 46, had two kids who lived with their father and she lived in a three-story apartment.
Didn't she read my profile? Maybe not as I was quickly learning that photos count the most. Many people on those dating sites don't really care about if you took the time to write a sensitive, intelligent narrative. They only look at the photos.
She must've thought I was cute because she did answer my profile. She wanted me to meet her this coming Sunday afternoon. She would cook chicken for dinner. She included her phone number in the reply. She was moving way too fast for me.
I did call her, to see if she was for real. She wasn't playing games. She was very direct in what she wanted. Extremely direct. But she wasn't my cup of tea, so I politely declined, whereas before she hung up she parted ways by saying "Your loss."
This online dating thing wasn't going to be easy.
One week left in January. Still no luck. By the end of the month the "new" profiles of local senior females were being recycled every week. Pretty soon there was no one new to contact. I decided if I didn't find anyone by the end of the month it wasn't meant to be. Maybe I was destined to be by myself. I was happy now but knew I could be happier. I wasn't going to pay for an extra month, or three months or even a six month membership and waste my money on rejection.
When all seemed lost, and my membership was down to the final three days of January, there was Holly, and my life changed forever.
Well-meaning friends advised me to sell the house and move into a handicapped-accessible apartment. I wouldn't have to worry about the grass or shoveling snow in the winter.
It was a great idea, but now I had Bud. Plus home is home. As long as I could pay my taxes I wanted to stay in my parents' home for as long as I could.
Most of my family did start dropping by as the years went by. Mom would've wanted us to get along. I began going to cook-outs and special events in the clan. The topic of Mom was hardly ever brought up, which was just as well, I suppose.
It was New Year's Day of 2016 and I just got back from one of those family functions. I fed Bud and relaxed in my room, preparing for work the next day. Always a downer to go back after the holidays.
I had the Sci-Fi channel on TV, half paying attention to the Twilight Zone Marathon they were heavily into. A commercial came on about a "senior dating site," one I had never heard of before. It caught my eye and for reasons I can't explain I memorized the website address.
I had tried the computer dating scene before, even when Mom was alive. I was always honest about my disability and put a legitimate, up-to-date picture ( that really was me) on my profile. I was too naive to know that lying was a big part of those dating sites.
Needless to say I didn't get very many replies. More like none at all. Why should I put myself through such heartache? Those sites were like bars- very superficial. If you looked attractive you had a shot, that was the bottom line. Who wanted to go out with a little guy who used a wheelchair? Nobody.Or so I thought.
But once again that little voice inside told me to check it out. I never had much luck with computers. But I did find Bud, and after two years together, he continued to be a great dog and even better friend.
The site was geared to older adults. Anyone over 50 could apply. Same usual fees and rules, which no one really abides to. I checked out some of the local female profiles for free. If interested and you want to contact her, you had to sign up. That was the catch.
I had it with long distance relationships. I wanted to find a nice woman nearby, someone I could actually see once in awhile, not once a year. Someone with a car...oh yes, that driving issue was rearing it's ugly head again. Another strike against me. What woman would want to drive on a date, handle a wheelchair and use her own car each time? No one, or so I thought.
But maybe I could find a friend. Lord knows I tried. But where does one go to find someone nice? I didn't drink, so a bar, or what I called a "meat wagon" wasn't good for me. The Center allowed their employees to date, unlike the Manor. In fact there were a few married couples working there. But it seemed every time I tried to ask someone out I got chicken. I always hated rejection and didn't allow myself a chance. How would I find someone special, someone who looked into my heart and soul and not at my legs, someone who didn't care how I got around- if I didn't give them ( or myself) a chance?
The girls at work were nice and would politely say no or say they had a boyfriend or whatever the excuse. I didn't push it because I had to see them everyday. Plus there was added emphasis on the topic of Sexual Harassment at work, so I had to know when to not cross the line, even if it was something as innocent as going to a movie. Not worth losing my job over.
I dated the ( unbeknownst to me) married nurse at the Manor and that was a disaster. Better to keep work and your personal life separate. More fish in the sea, as they say, but which harbor were they in?
Bookstores and grocery stores were good places to meet. I could start going with Laurel once a week to the store but that would be sort of awkward, trying to pick up a female shopper while another woman was pushing my cart full of frozen dinners.
Church was another possibility but I'm sure Mom wouldn't have approved of that tactic, even though she always said "I wish you would find a nice girl..." But I could also hear her say, "'You go to church to pray, not to fool around."
My age was working against me too. Here I was,pushing 60. Most woman my age were grandmothers by now. I would have nothing in common with a twenty-something female. Make that thirty-something and even forty-something. God, did I feel old.
So, this senior dating thing didn't sound too bad. At least I would be in the ballpark age-wise. So, I completed a profile, added a picture ( me in a suit and tie at work, after I had won " County Employee of the Year" my first year at the Center). I rarely wore a suit in real life, only to funerals and weddings, none of which I attended very often. I was always a jeans and sweatshirt guy, preferable Phillies and Eagles gear. I hopede whomever answered me liked sports .
Actually, I didn't add many "requirements" in my profile. Beggars can't be choosers. Just someone nice. And local. And not attached. Preferably no kids. I loved children and always thought I would've made a pretty cool father but I was way beyond that. Still, what were the odds I would find someone "perfect" like that?
Having common interests was important. Being a good communicator. And of course, someone with a good personality, who likes to laugh and who has a good sense of humor, someone with a caring, kind heart .Oh, and she must like dogs. Bud made sure I put that part in.
Me? I was honest, a hopeless romantic, funny, likes sports, music and movies.I left out the "don't drive" part for now. Why push it?
I posted the profile and waited.
I checked my profile each day for the next week. Many ladies viewed my information. Like sharks circling fresh bait. No one responded. I wasn't surprised. My confidence sank.
Then, out of the blue, someone did respond! It was a girl about 15 minutes away. She claimed she was 46, had two kids who lived with their father and she lived in a three-story apartment.
Didn't she read my profile? Maybe not as I was quickly learning that photos count the most. Many people on those dating sites don't really care about if you took the time to write a sensitive, intelligent narrative. They only look at the photos.
She must've thought I was cute because she did answer my profile. She wanted me to meet her this coming Sunday afternoon. She would cook chicken for dinner. She included her phone number in the reply. She was moving way too fast for me.
I did call her, to see if she was for real. She wasn't playing games. She was very direct in what she wanted. Extremely direct. But she wasn't my cup of tea, so I politely declined, whereas before she hung up she parted ways by saying "Your loss."
This online dating thing wasn't going to be easy.
One week left in January. Still no luck. By the end of the month the "new" profiles of local senior females were being recycled every week. Pretty soon there was no one new to contact. I decided if I didn't find anyone by the end of the month it wasn't meant to be. Maybe I was destined to be by myself. I was happy now but knew I could be happier. I wasn't going to pay for an extra month, or three months or even a six month membership and waste my money on rejection.
When all seemed lost, and my membership was down to the final three days of January, there was Holly, and my life changed forever.
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