I wrote this article for The Phoenix, published on May 11, 2007
Disabled Parents can be Strong Role Models
Carrie Ann Lucas gets around in a wheelchair. She breathes with the aid of a ventilator. She
cannot hear and can only see at a close range.
Each morning begins about 4 a.m. with newspapers and e-mails. At 5:30, she wakes her three
disabled daughters. With help from a nurse aide, she dresses the girls and feeds them. They
cannot feed themselves. They must use feeding tubes to survive. By 7:10, the kids are on their
school buses.
Lucas cherishes these mornings, tough as they are, because she knows how hard it is to keep a
family together.
She is one of a handful of attorneys in the country whose specialty is representing disabled
parents like herself. Her mission is making sure they get the same chance as everyone else to be
moms and dads.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 15 percent of all parents with children in the household
have some disability. The government is far more likely try to take children away from these
parents.
“My clients fought and fought” to raise their children, says Lucas, 35.
She can relate to her clients so well
.
Among those she has worked with was a deaf woman in suburban Denver, Colorado (where
Lucas lives and works), whose two toddlers were taken away and put up for adoption after social
workers deemed her unfit as a mother because she could not hear her children’s cries for help
.
Another client, a blind woman, was refused treatment at a fertility clinic because the staff there
did not think she could be a proper mother. She was asked things like, “How are you going to
drive your kid to soccer practice?”
Still, Lucas does admit that some disabled people should not be parents. She admits that she is
not the perfect parent. But just because one has a disability should not be a reason for someone
automatically being disqualified from being a parent.
Carrie grew up wealthy in her youth, healthy too, playing basketball and running track. She went
to college and studied sports medicine. Then she began developing unexplained bone tumors and
excruciating muscle pain.
She was eventually diagnosed with a rare degenerative disease called central core disorder.
She began using a wheelchair and lost her hearing.
Then, Heather entered her world
.
Social workers had taken Heather from Lucas’ half-brother in Tennessee and placed her in foster
care. When Lucas heard this, she wanted to adopt Heather, but Tennessee was skeptical
Lucas would be a good parent. The caseworker made Lucas demonstrate repeatedly that she
could care for the girl. One of the requirements was that Lucas prove she could lift Heather’s
wheelchair into her rented van.
It was almost a year later when Tennessee finally allowed Lucas to adopt Heather and move her
to Colorado.
Because one of Heather’s restraints in the chair was clearly uncomfortable, Lucas got rid of the
straps - which landed her in more trouble with social workers in Colorado. Another worker
reported Lucas for failing to cut her daughter’s hair, saying she had unrealistic high expectations
for the child’s social life by letting her hair grow out.
The complaints, though resolved in her favor, were an indication of the scrutiny that disabled
parents face
.
But that didn’t stop Lucas from adopting two more disabled kids. Ariana’s biological parents
didn’t want her, Lucas adopted her, but ten months later, the girl’s aunt and uncle suddenly
decided they wanted custody.
As relatives, they had priority and Lucas lost custody.
“Losing my kid was one of the worst things I’ve been through,” she said.
At the time, Lucas was working as a legal assistant at the Cross-Disability Coalition, where
disabled parents sought help to hold on to their children. Even some of the group’s disabled
executives and board members found themselves fighting for their rights as parents.
“We realized if that’s happening to us, really connected professionals, what’s happening to other
people?” she wondered
.
Eventually, Lucas enrolled in law school, learning Braille and reading lips at close range because
by now, her vision had decreased so much that she was considered legally blind. Still she
struggled on, especially to help others in situations similar to her own
.
Lee Dancer, 39, feels lucky he found Lucas. The airport concession worker has an IQ of 73, and
social services took away his newborn daughter. Sort of like a real-life “I Am Sam” story, but
this wasn’t a movie.
After years of legal battling, the case is still ongoing. It is a heartbreaking case, which state
officials admit, but also acknowledge that Dancer and the girl’s mother (who has a mild
developmental disability) simply cannot parent the child.
But Lucas, who has taken on the case, disagrees. She sites that Dancer had no problems helping
to raise a 13-year-old son from another relationship. “Every parent can improve,” Lucas states,
“and his skills are adequate.”
Disabled parents can serve as strong role models. It’s why Lucas has gone out of her way to
adopt disabled children.
“You can be whatever you want to be,” she often tells her children. She is living proof, despite
her many challenges in life, this is so true.
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