More than 54 million Americans have a disability. You don"t have to feel awkward when dealing with a person who has a disability. Here are some basic tips.If you ever feel unsure how to interact with a person who has a disability, just ask!
ASK BEFORE YOU HELP- Just because someone has a disability, don":t assume they need help. If the setting is accessible, people with disabilities can usually get around fine. Adults with disabilities want to be treated as independent people. Offer assistance only if the person appears to need it. A person with a disability oftentimes communicates when he/she needs help. And if help is asked for, ask how you can act.
Note: I always appreciate the help. If I can do it myself, I politely say so, and reply thanks for the offer. Most people are kind and considerate and will hold open heavy doors,etc.I There is a fine line between accepting help graciously and asserting independence. Some people feel offended if a disabled person refuses help, which may lead to the gesture not being offered in the future to another disabled person who may really need the help.
BE SENSITIVE ABOUT PHYSICAL CONTACT- Some people with disabilities depend on their arms for balance. Grabbing them, even if your intention is to assist, could knock them off balance. Avoid patting a person on the head or touching the wheelchair, scooter or cane. People with disabilities consider their equipment part of their personal space.
Note: People with disabilities are individuals. Thus, use the pronouns "he" or she" rather than "they"
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK- Always speak directly to the person with a disability, not to his companion, aide or language interpreter. Making small talk with a person who has a disability is great; just talk to him as you would anyone else. Respect his privacy, If you ask about his disability, he may feel like you are treating him as a disability, not as a human being. However, many people with disabilities are comfortable with questions about their disability after getting to know someone.
NOTE: Kids are honest and they have often stared at me while asking "What happened to you?" I always try to answer them with a simple answer and a smile. It satisfies their curiosity and hopefully children will not be afraid of someone who may look or act differently. It has always fascinated me how adults tend to have more hang-ups then kids. Often kids will stare and ask questions. Parents have often grabbed the kid, pulled them away while admonishing "Shhh! Don"t ask him that!" That type of behavior only causes kids to withdraw from people who have a disability.
People with disabilities are even more evident in schools, on TV and movies and in public jobs. Society seems to be more comfortable with people who have a disability, more then ever. The physical barriers are slowly coming down- more ramps, more accessibility, etc..Breaking down the stereotypical barriers of prejudice and fear will take time if we keep the flow of communication open.
DON"T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS- People with disabilities are the best judge of what they can or cannot do.
PUT THE PERSON FIRST- Say "person with a disability" rather than "disabled person". Avoid outdated terms such as "handicapped", "crippled" or "retarded". Be aware that many people with disabilities dislike jargon y, euphemistic terms like "physically challenged". Say "person who uses a wheelchair" rather than "confined to a wheelchair" or "wheelchair bound". The wheelchair is what enables the person to get around and participate in society; it"s liberating, not confining. With any disability, avoid negative, disempowering words, like "victim" or "sufferer".
Most of all, use common sense. And don"t be afraid.
Next Disability Etiquette post will be about interacting with people specifically in wheelchairs or other mobile devices.
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