REVIEW- THE OSCARS

Awkward.

I was going to start this review of last night's Academy Awards show with the word "awkward" even before the stunning mistake at the end.

Presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, celebrating 50 years since their movie, Bonnie and Clyde was released, were given the wrong envelope while announcing the winner of Best Picture.

They announced that "La La Land won, when in reality, "Moonlight" won for Best Picture.

Who to blame? The accounting company, Price- Waterhouse, whom I remember as being in the Oscars since I was a kid, ultimately is to blame. The guy who hands out the envelopes had one job to do in front of 100 million viewers around the world, and he blew it. He handed Beatty the wrong envelope.

Beatty looked confused as he opened the red envelope and squinted at the winner. He stumbled a moment, probably thinking "Oh, shit", before showing the card to Dunaway, who without taking the time to look fully at the card, blurted out "La La Land" as the false winner.

All of "La La Land's" crew- actors, producers, director- swarmed the stage and started their congratulation speeches.

Awkwardly, there was commotion in back of the stage. I initially thought someone had fainted or was sick. Then a "La La Land" person read the card and graciously announced that "Moonlight" had really won.

The audience was shocked in the theater. I'm sure the world was stunned too. Jimmy Kimmel, who did a lackluster job of hosting, tried to joke his way out of a bad situation. I also had thought it was another terrible Kimmel gag, one of many he tried to pull off during the long evening.

Beatty should've stopped and asked for help and clarification. Dunaway should've never announced anything but reacted .Still, if given the right  envelope, none of this would've happened. Forever Beatty, Dunaway, Kimmel and the rest will be linked, no matter what they have done before or in the future, ala Steve Harvey ( who had to be breathing a big sigh of relief somewhere for not being the all-time leading goat for mis-announcements).

There will be more investigating. Apparently, there are always two envelopes of winners, one at each end of the stage depending on where the presenter comes out. That's why it made sense that Emma Stone said she was holding her winning card for Best Actress when the mistake occurred on stage. There were two cards and two envelopes.

This drama was history-making and easily the most intrerest of the night. It's a shame that this mix-up overshadowed the  colossal upset of "Moonlight" winning in the first place. "La La Land" was picked by many to easily take the top award. Hollywood saluting itself, giving Best Picture to a movie about itself.

Kimmel's bits and jokes fell flat. I'm not a Jimmy Kimmel fan. He's a David Letterman-wannabe. But at least I thought he would come up with some clever, biting lines. I didn't laugh even once.

It was really stupid bringing in unaware tourists to awkwardly meet the stars in the front row. Dropping food from the ceiling was dumb as well. The shot at Trump mostly missed their target.

Why not hire Billy Crystal every year until he can't do it anymore?

Kimmel signed off by saying he had "screwed up" the show and that he "would never come back again".

I hope he means it.

The best parts of the night were Viola Davis' acceptance speech, which was heartfelt and emotional. There was no chemistry or fun between presenters, but it was good to see Michael J. Fox and Shirley McClaine on stage. And Sara Baraales did a lovely rendition of "Both Sides Now". Otherwise, the show was typically long and boring.

Every year I say the same thing: the Oscars could easily be a two, maybe three hour event. Take out the cheesy bits and the categories that no one cares about. Keep it to the main seven or eight awards and streamline the show.

But it will never happen, as the Oscars are what they are: a self-indulging , bloated  event.

I made the mistake of watching the E! channel before the show. I wanted to check out the Red Carpet, who is coming and going, what the celebrities are wearing, which has become a show in itself and often more entertaining than the Oscars are.

The problem was the E! so-called "experts" and commentators. They sucked. Every dress and suit was perfect. No criticism. No Joan Rivers-type of witty sarcasm. No honesty. Do they think the people watching are stupid?

Well, maybe the people who watch the E! channel on a regular basis and are familiar with the airheads like Kris Jenner  ( who embarrassingly didn't know that the blue ribbon worn by several African-American actresses was for the ACLU)ARE stupid, so the lack of honesty and fake swooning doesn't bother the loyal viewers.

Even so, I'll watch the Oscars again next year, if only to see the red envelopes guarded by a SWAT team